Sans911Senior Contributor
Intense sadness
For the last 2 or 3 weeks, I've had this intense sadness I can't shake. I'm on the edge of tears so much, but they never really come. I don't know why I feel like this, as I've had depression for over 2years now. It just feels as if everything I held dear and important to me is slipping away, and I either don't deserve to have good in my life or that I'm just not ever supposed to be happy..
The only thing I had left that gave me some satisfaction was my job, but even that seems like a chore, and as an agency worker I feel such a lack of belonging. This never bothered me before, I as I preferred it that way, but now I miss the camaraderie and sharing of stories.
There's such a hollowness inside me, and no matter how I try to fill it, with either volunteering, helping on this forum, or others, brings no lasting satisfaction for me. What kind of life is this to live? It's not, and sometimes not living seems a far satisfactory answer.
The only thing I had left that gave me some satisfaction was my job, but even that seems like a chore, and as an agency worker I feel such a lack of belonging. This never bothered me before, I as I preferred it that way, but now I miss the camaraderie and sharing of stories.
There's such a hollowness inside me, and no matter how I try to fill it, with either volunteering, helping on this forum, or others, brings no lasting satisfaction for me. What kind of life is this to live? It's not, and sometimes not living seems a far satisfactory answer.
