is it life... or paranoia.... or something else......

Hey @outlander I will send you through an email. I remember @Phoenix_Rising and @Former-Member were talking to @redheaded about their experiences.

Hi @outlander, when I am unwell I get very paranoid of things happening around and grow suspicious of people in my life, believing they have spies and that I am under surveillance. I find in most cases, something has triggered this paranoia off. Yes, my mind will blow it waaay out of proportion, but there is nearly always an event which sets off the paranoid wheels in motion. For you, this could be your mum and her bf's behaviour towards your medication.

Just a thought. Could be totally wrong. I'd still mention it to your doctors, even if they do flip out.

over the past few weeks this has been happening and i thought maybe it would die down once the tensions had died down but for me the tensions are still high. for them it doesnt seem to be affecting them but why would it really? they arent the ones who ahve to watch their every single move of every single second of every single day, nor do they ahve to worry about getting into trouble for going to a dr, psychiatrist or psychologist, and having to hide it becuse they are too scared to say anything about it. they saud they wanted to be involved but they dont want to be involved they jsut want to control everything but they cant. worried that their medications are going to be thrown out yet again.

its making me nervous, im never relaxed anywhere. not even in my own house.

It must feel truly awful to be that frightened and anxious constantly. I wish I had some sort of solution for you, so that you can get the help you need but also not get into trouble for it. Your stress levels must be through the roof!

it is really horrible @Queenie and im stressed and i cant think or concentrate or anything. if i tell them im going somewhere then i get in trouble so i try not to tell them where im going but then they get sus about it and they dont believe me otherwise anyway.

i dont know what to do and everywhere i look im worried someone is watching my every move!

i dont feel i can trust anyone anymore 😞

i dont know where to turn or what im doing

i watch people walk past my house and im worried its someone checking in on me and its freaking me out!! i have my blinds, and curtain closed all the time and i never want to answer the phone or the door

Try and mention it to your doctors. You have every right to have things kept confidential, I wish your Mum and her bf would understand this! You certainly aren't going to be feeling any good with your current situation as it is. All this paranoia must be conjuring up all sorts of awful feelings. I really feel for you @outlander

@Queenie i see my gp on wednesday..

i dont feel good at all and this paranoia or whatever the heck it is is casuing me nmore anxiety whihc is bringing me out of the depression stage but its waayy to much and now i def wont sleep and ill be jittery and shaking uncontroallable, jaw clenching, headspins and body jerking all night!

I do a lot of self checking and use skills I learned in cognitive behaviour therapy. The skills mean looking for evidence to substantiate my current thoughts. If I can find no evidence than, I have to change my thinking.

It'd be difficult for you to do at the moment I imagine, especially with your current situation with others being involved too much in your health care. I really think that is adding fuel to the fire.