So freaking confused! - emotion regualtion or effects of MI?

@NikNik could you help me out with this?

It is a very good question @outlander

I think the main thing here that you should be proud of is that you recognise all these emotions going on.

Regardless if whether it's MI or not, if you feel like things aren't quite right and these emotions are having a negative impact on your life, then it's worth learning more about it (knowledge = power) and learning how to best manage the different emotions.

As I said though, having the insight to notice these things is one of the hardest parts!

There's not much else I can contribute, except that if you find a psychologist you trust (I think I read you didn't like your current one) they will be able to work with you on these things. I would encourage you to touch base with SANE Help Centre (phone or chat) on Monday if you want to talk it through more,

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@outlander wrote:

i dont understand these emotions all the friggin time!

one minute im happy, the next im low then my depression is on the floor, the my anxiety is sky high, then i get feelings that make me want to jump into bed with someone, then theres i want to push everyone away, then theres confusion, irritation, then i want to be cuddled, then my feelings switch and i hate everyone, then paranoid
WTF!!!

is this something i need to learn to control? or is it part of mental illness?

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@outlander I think this is an interesting question that you raise. As you know, I have BPD and a key characteristic of that is emotion dysregulation. Pretty much any mental health professional who spends five minutes with me recognises that I have BPD so in that sense, the emotion dysregulation is "part of mental illness." However, what does that truly mean? I have very big feelings because of a mixture of being a naturally sensitive person and having a history of complex trauma. Thus, are they actually a sign of "illness" or are they a normal reaction to an abnormal situation? I view them as the latter, but under the "medical model" they are seen as pathological and a sign of illness.

I am curious about the way you framed your question as an "or" question. Regardless of whether you consider emotion dysregulation a "part of mental illness" or as a normal reaction to an abnormal situation, the answer to your other question of whether you need to learn to control it is "yes". That is what DBT is all about - learning to regulate big feelings. Some people also find medication helpful in regulating the big feelings. Other people, like me, have never found medication particularly useful. Mindfulness, relaxation techniques, self-soothing, distraction, these are all ways of regulating emotions. And yes, it takes a LOT of effort to learn the skills and a LOT of practice to get good at them. However, if you start at your young age, then you will put yourself in the very best position to be awesome at regulating your emotions.

hi @NikNik

its so hard learning to actually identify the different emotions esp when most of the time they are just one big blur of overwhelmingness!

and yes i think learning about them and how to manage them would probably be beneficial too

hi @Phoenix_Rising thank you for your responding. you seem to have alot of insight into this so thanks for jumping on board.

ill hopefully be doing DBT therapy soon as well so maybe that will help. it takes alot of prcatice but alot of the things i find through that like mindfullness doesnt particularly work and it actually completely bores me and i loose interest in it all

@outlander Just adding to what @CheerBear said...I think a lot of people have a bit of a misconception about what mindfulness is. Being mindful simply means focusing your full attention on something in the present. So, for example, you could do the washing up mindfully, walk mindfully, or groom your horse mindfully. We tend to start learning about mindfulness by doing exercises such as focusing on our breathing, or focusing on the sounds around us. I think perhaps this is where people get bored, and also begin to think that this is all mindfulness is, when in fact it is just the starting point.

I have to admit that I find even the sitting-still-listening-to-the-birds type of mindfulness really helpful. Because I get overwhelmed so easily, I find that sort of activity really calming and I don't feel bored at all. However, I think your feelings of boredom are the much more common experience.

hi @CheerBear

no you werent vague i was getting where you were coming from but thank you for claryifying that.

im not really that good at sitting still while using the 5 senses and things like that, so maybe instead of that i should go for a walk and jsut admire the beauty of nature for 'mindfullness'

but i need to learn to control some of these emotions more