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Bipolar, bored and dependent

no_more_ideasContributor19 June 2017, 12:00 pm AEST

Bipolar, bored and dependent

Hi,

My 21 year old son was diagnsed with bipolar 1 about three months ago after a long period of hypomania (we only realise that now) and then three manic episodes with delusions over two months, which the psychiatrists treating him now say was one manic episode.

I guess he's now in bipolar depression (is it either one or the other?) and he's medicated and treated by a private psychiatrist, psychologist and he sees a case worker through Community Health.

I have a couple of questions which I'm hoping someone out there might be able share some thoughts on.

The first is about dependency. He misses me when I'm at work and doesn't like me being away overnight. He just wants to spend time with me - watching TV, talking, going for drives. It's like he's a child again who wants his Mum. While flattering, it does seem a bit odd. Any ideas?

The other question (and this may relate to the first) is how can he counteract his boredom? When he was hypomanic and manic he was super-absorbed in his maths, philosophy, art, music - there was never enough time in the day to pursue all his interests. Now he has none and doesn't seem to be able to stick to a task or find meaning in things that used to interest him. He needs to do at least one unit at uni (which he's never really started) to stay enrolled and his psychiatrist wants him to do this but he's worried, I think mostly because he has a belief if he can't be the best, he may as well not try. It's external, so it's not as if it's a problem of being around others.

He's also put on a lot of weight and it's a struggle to motivate him to shower and keep up personal hygiene. He knows he needs to lose weight but eating is one of the few things that gives him pleasure.

I love him and understand I am his carer and the road to sorting out his medication will be a long one. I'm just getting increasingly concerned that his life is pretty meaningless at the moment and I don't know how to help him.

He went to a private hospital to speed up medication change a few months ago - maybe he should do it again? He's being phased off his anti-psychotic but it takes months. I'm going with him to his next psychiatrist appointment to discuss the possibility of this.

I'd appreciate any feedback - thanks for reading 🙂

3 replies

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In response to: Bipolar, bored and dependent

SharonmSenior Contributor19 June 2017, 4:07 pm AEST

Re: Bipolar, bored and dependent

Hi @no_more_ideas,

I'm don't have any advice right now. My son is 16 and recently diagnosied with bipolar spectrum and BPD traits. I just want to acknowledge how tough it is and say you are a great mum. You are lucky he wants to be with you and will keep you informed of how he is feeling. My son is pushing back and wanting independance at a time when i think he needs to keep me close.

I hope things improve and I am sure some of the more experienced carers on the forums can offer some great advice.

Sharonm x

In response to: Bipolar, bored and dependent

Unknown userMember25 June 2017, 7:14 pm AEST

Re: Bipolar, bored and dependent

Hi @no_more_ideas
Not sure what state you are in but there are supports available for both patient and carer. If you would like to let me know I will send links.

In response to: Bipolar, bored and dependent

Unknown userMember05 July 2017, 4:13 pm AEST

Re: Bipolar, bored and dependent

Hello @no_more_ideas

Thank you so much for sharing your story, it seems like your son is struggling with his mental health at the moment and you are unsure what other things might help. It can be really hard working through these things alone so it is good you have come to the forums for some extra support right now.

I have given you the details of some Carer Organisations that you can get counselling, support groups and other support through:

Bipolar Caregivers
www.bipolarcaregivers.org/
Aim is to make bipolarcaregivers.org a useful, easily accessible information website for caregivers of people with bipolar disorder. On this website you will find information and suggestions for caregivers (and consumers) about:

What is bipolar and how it is treated and managed.
Ways to help a person with bipolar disorder who is 18 years or over.
Ways caregivers can take care of themselves, deal with the bipolar disorder and the personal impact it has on the

Carers Australia
1800 242 636 - Carer Supports and Services
www.carersaustralia.com.au
Carers Australia is the national peak body representing Australia’s carers, advocating on behalf of Australia’s carers to influence policies and services at a national level. Carers Australia provides specialist services across Australia for carers. These services include counselling, advice, information and registration. NDIS provision. Resource centre.

It also sounds like some boundary work might be helpful, so you are able to do the things that you need to do and your son will need to learn to accept that and find other ways of coping without relying on you so much.

The following blog may be useful in setting boundaries around your family members behavior and help you feel a bit more in control: Boundary-setting and mental illness.

Thinking of you,

Lunar

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