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Is this normal? Post wedding blues?

QueenieSenior Contributor12 June 2017, 1:15 pm AEST

Is this normal? Post wedding blues?

Hi All,

I feel like after all the planning and the ceremony and honeymoon is over now I've hit a massive slump. I'm not sleeping properly and am finding myself getting upset over the silliest things. Not teary just really angry. I also just feel blah, really useless. I am also really restless and spent the last few days pacing endlessly and talking back to my voices.

I don't have the opportunity to discuss this with my psychologist as I've used up all my sessions under my care plan and don't have any more sessions until September. I also don't see my psychiatrist until September either.

I have been taking my meds and barely drinking at all, even at my reception and the party afterwards, I didn't really have much to drink (about 3 drinks over a six hour period).

I wish I knew what the heck was going on with me. It seems like every time I have something good happen in my life, something equally bad happens after it. I can't afford to get unwell, not now not ever. I have so much of my life I want to get back which my life has taken from me.

3 replies

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In response to: Is this normal? Post wedding blues?

SaharaSenior Contributor12 June 2017, 6:10 pm AEST

Re: Is this normal? Post wedding blues?

Hi @Queenie,

I think that sometimes when we have a lot going on in our lives... like planning a wedding for example, which I know can be very time-consuming, then afterwards we can fall into a slump. For some people, yes, I would say this is very normal.

I'm an artist, and I have lost track of the times that other artists have told me that they fall into a major slump after having an exhibition of their work. It's all excitement and planning and then... nothing much. You take all your artwork down and you take it home and put it in the cupboard!

A lot of things happen like this in life. Things we expect to be fulfilling do not fulfill us for very long, unfortunately.

As I've gotten older, I find I'm becoming more immune to the post-happy-occasion slump. I just look at the big picture now. And I always ask myself "what's next?" Once I've accomplished something, I start planning something new.

After my wedding, I was on an emotional high for around 2 weeks. Then life went back to normal- but I guess I kind of wanted it to and expected it to go back to normal. I knew that a wedding, although beautiful and meaningful, was not as important as a marriage. Marriage is a day to day thing... it isn't exactly exciting, but it is lovely.

@Queenie, you might want to go back to your psychiatrist earlier, to discuss your feelings, if they are unusual for you. Pacing back and forwards doesn't sound good. You could even go and see your G.P, if there is a wait to get into the psychiatrist. They should be able to help you.

In response to: Re: Is this normal? Post wedding blues?

QueenieSenior Contributor12 June 2017, 6:21 pm AEST

Re: Is this normal? Post wedding blues?

Marriage is something day to day which has to be nurtured or alas, it will die. I don't want it to die, I really really don't. I've got to try to be better for both our sakes.

I see my GP in about a fortnight. I don't think I can get in to see my psychiatrist any earlier as he is going abroad for a conference soon. If I get much worse, I'll make an earlier appointment.

I'm blasting music in my ears to drown out the voices. I earlier admitted to my Mrs about what I am currently going through and she looked so disappointed in me. I am disappointed in me too.

In response to: Is this normal? Post wedding blues?

AteamCasual Contributor16 June 2017, 2:11 pm AEST

Re: Is this normal? Post wedding blues?

Hi @Queenie I'm planning a wedding now and I can sort of resonate with you. I'm so excited, happy and in a bubble of centrepieces, dress, makeup etc etc. BUT, I also have my moments where I think about after. Will it die in say 5 years time. What is the next step? What happens next? Everyone always jokes that marriage won't work ... husbands are hopeless, wives nagging again. Are we listening to them too much? Is it this stereotype that marriages don't work that has created this fear for us. I know that look from your Mrs, I get it from my man when I'm down and out and speak of our wedding and life like this. He says to me it's just him trying to understand but I can't help but feel I have disappointed him. I think it is somewhat natural for them to be worried. But, she would have never had married you if she felt you were a disappointment to you. Concentrate on yourself or do something together where you are both giving some individual love and care. A walk together, hobbies? Take care and don't let them little voice gremlins win!

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