Earning respect...

Hello Outlander,

Lots of love and hugs for you ❤️

I don’t have much advice for earning respect from others, I’ve never got the knack of that myself. I think it has a lot to do with the amount of respect you have for yourself. When I think of the things I’ve let people do to me, it makes my skin crawl! I think it comes down to what you allow. Have you ever heard – you have to love yourself first to love another? I think it’s the same with respect. I think when you allow negative things to happen, people sort of learn they can do things to you (e.g. not help you), and I think that causes people to lose respect for you.

I know standing up for yourself can be impossible, it can feel just too hard, but I think it’s the only way to gain respect; because then people learn you will do so and they can’t do negative things to you. It sounds harsh because it is, and balancing the harshness with gentleness is a constant confusion. I think a person needs to draw their own line, where they will or will not tolerate things – it’s a very personal line. For instance, I would not feel somebody not getting a charger for me was worth the battle, but a Mother putting the responsibility of their youngest child on me, would be something I felt strongly about and would feel it was worth the stress of the battle of saying ‘this is not right, I will not tolerate it’.

I didn’t realize the horse was your Sister’s, I’m just making stabbing guesses in the dark here, but I think you do too much for those around you, you’ve taken on too much responsibility and it’s become expected. Changing the expectations of those around you is a very difficult task, but a very important one if those expectations are adversely affecting your day to day life. Perhaps you could start by being honest and telling your Mother and Sisters that you do not feel respected by them? It may not seem like it, but that little peep could be the beginning of you standing up for yourself.

Sending even more love and hugs to you ❤️

(and please disregard any of this that doesn’t sound right, my brains gone into muddle mode and I may not be thinking right 🙂 ) @outlander

Niqua- wow im sorry! i completley forgot about this thread until now! and you wrote such a good response too- Sorry!

you made complete sense with what your saying and i guess by now youve realised the situation is alot more complex then jsut respecting myself to get respect back. but your response is amazing!

@Former-Member