It's like I just don't care

So I don't do these forum things but I've promised my psychologist after I saw her today that I would not harm myself, and it's taking me every single little bit of energy and effort not to harm myself. I have a plan in place with her and I've tried some of that.. so I guess I'm writing this just to vent abit more than anything, I finally opened up to her about some stuff that has happened.. I'm 30 and when I have in the past trusted health professionals it's being thrown in my face at times so this person I've found I feel is finally helping, however it was a hard session I had today and tonight I'm finding it extremely difficult to just stay in my room, not venture out, to do anything.<br>I am not looking for people to talk me out of anything more just needing to vent!<br>I guess writing this might keep me occupied for abit!