hi @Sahara
i got in contact with the community mental health team who will be doing weekly calls to check in to see how im going with supports. they have also diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder which explains alot of how ive been feeling and why i act the way i do. so that was good in a way.
ive gotten in to see a psychologist who ill get into see weekly- its going to cost me a bomb though becasue my mental health care plan has run out until next year now. but i have to do it.
i see my gp weekly as well and i also have a womens health nurse who i can get into see if i need to.
theres another gp at the same practice as mine who was there when all the hospital distress and my familys blaming on me etc so if i need to i can see that one as well if mines unavaliable.
i have a psychiatrist who i see every few weeks to get medication reviews until im stable enough on one of them at a dose then she will decrease it to every 2 months to get reviewed unless i say otherwise.
i have no where i can go. thats the trouble.
my mother and sisters are looking for a house for themselves and ill be remaining with my pop. so its like moving out of my own home. to be honest though i dont know how i would cope on my own in my own house.
i dont have any friends- sad but true- oh i have one who is two faced . i couldnt afford staying into a hotel for a long time. prob only one or two nights here and there.
a few days before i went in to the hospital, my mother and her bf where actually trying to organise their holiday!! i was trying to talk to them about the issues i had but they wouldnt listen and mums bf jsut kept saying' do we have to talk about this now' 'is it important right now, cant it wait until we arent organising things' in the weird grumpy tone like 'arrgh not agan she wants something kind of tone.
i tied to talk to them but they didnt listen to me.
all during my hospital stay they jsut kept telling me i 'have' to come home and i 'need' to come home even telling my that they are quitting their jobs becasue they know i would try my best not to let it get that far. i only had the patient phone, it was probably recorded for all i know- good i hope it was.
the day i was going into hospital- it was involuntary and i was taken by ambulance from the gp surgery- never thought that sort of thing would happen to me- i was getting call after call msg after msg to get in contact with me, to tell me i dont need medications, to say i dont need to go into hospital, that they were loosing their jobs becasue of me, that everyone needs me.
and then while iw as in there it was still going on until the 4th day and then they tunred it around and kept telling me that i have their support and it only took two days out of hospital for that to change. they lied to me and they wonder why i dont tell them things.
they said that after their holiday they are going to get me a night into a hotel. wow how great of them, forgive me if i jsut couldnt care less about what they say they are going to do anymore
