FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

What sort of planning have you done for old age?

What sort of planning have you done for old age?

SANE is in the news at the moment for releasing a report on healthy aging with a mental illness. You can see an article here. It's caused a few heated comments from people who feel as if the challenges of their situation are being misunderstood or under-estimated. The financial difficulties of planning for old age on benefits is one key point here that is a genuine concern.

My reading is that the report is looking more widely at aging. It's focusing on how physical health, housing and support can be shaped by our mental health in old age. Here's one quote:

"We've spoken with older people living with mental illness and while their experiences vary widely, declining physical health, an uncertain housing future and isolation are common concerns".

Of course these are also the concerns of all people facing aging but the issues are likely to be compounded by those who have lived with an MI for a long period.

It's a really tough subject that a lot of us choose to look away from because it can be a little frightening. But I thought it worth asking here:

Have you thought about it? Prepared in anyway? Have any advice for those of us still burying our heads in the sand?

38 replies

21 - 30 of 38

In response to: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Hi @Mazarita,

Thank you, yes i have many hobbies, i need to as i have nothing else to do, but i am finding one by one i am unable to do them due to my MI. i really only listen to music and garden these days.

i find that it does not stop or take my mind off of the anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, but they help to fill in time, the days go so slow for me, as i have nothing to do, but i do find gardening therapeutic.

wow Art is something i am unable to do because i lack imagination, i can only do things that have instructions. i would love it if you could put a picture up of your work. yes i understand how doing something, anything can help bring meaning to your life, i feel so useless most of the time, i try to help my mother as much as possible but i still feel like i am failing her.

please don't dewll on me too much, i am in a terrible position, i feel like i am backed into a corner, i can only find one other person online that suffers from adult perental seperation anxiety, i still find it hard to believe that i have not had a night away from my parents since 1994. it is a long time, it has evolved into me not being able to do anything through intence fear. i can't even pat an animal anymore. so i have very few options available to me, i have struggled with what to do for so long, everything is slipping away and their is nothing i can do.

In response to: Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

@Jacques

My son used to cost out his hobbies in a similar way to you. It was his way of being financially responsible and practical as a kid. I really appreciated that as opposed to many who whinge and dont realise how lucky they are. I figure its ok to whinge a bit if there is good reason.

I think it is amazing how you internalise a social sense of responsibility when things are so tough for you. I was shocked when people died from the cold in Victoria because they were homeless. Not all young people have it easy today, cos its a more complicated world.

I am sorry about your shaking, I guess it is a side effect of medication.

I love gardening too, but have not been in garden much since my son had breakdown, so its overgrown. I prefer to find and do things that will get him out and happy than have a home beautiful. I will get to it. Its about priorities.

In response to: Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

@Jacques,

It's not exactly dwelling on you too much, more like thinking about the different people I am encountering on this forum, feeling for issues you are all going through, often relating and wishing you well.

I'm not an artist in the sense of drawing things (can't do that to save myself), but rather as a participant, and sometimes initiator, of music and video projects. These are online collaborations and kind of experimental. Some people probably see them as just weird, lol. Unfortunately I can't really post any of these here without losing my anonymity on the forums.

Being part of projects like this is one way of getting around being housebound and feeling not well enough to participate in projects in the 'real' world. That is, when I'm doing them. Like you, Jacques, my interests have dropped away lately and I'm not really engaging with them at all. I try to remind myself at times like this that my engagement with the arts has always had ebbs and flows and that it's a natural part of my creative process for this to be the way. Doesn't deny the fact that I often feel bereft when I am not inspired to participate, but helps to think that the current low ebb won't necessarily last forever.

In response to: Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Its been really good to meet you all

In response to: Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Good to meet you too, @Appleblossom 🙂

In response to: Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Hi @Mazarita,

yes it is good to see so much diversity on the forum, it is sites like this that make you know you are not alone with MI problems.

That is a shame, i would have enjoyed it, but never mind, maybe one day you will be on TV or radio and i will have seen or heard your work and not know it.

yes i have that too, i can't stay on one project for too long, i either loose interest or my depression gets too much.

i know all to well how thoughts can keep you down if you are not able to overcome their control. i can spend months in a depressive state, not doing anything and feeling sorry for myself, then one day i will wake up and just get back into my hobbies.

In response to: Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Hi @Appleblossom,

I am sorry to hear you son is having a hard time at the moment, i hope he can get all the help he needs to get him through this. yes well my hobby i have to justify the boats (several pieces of wood and copper fittings) cost around $1,200, so not a cheap hobby. but an hourly rate of about $1 so if you work it out i suppose it is cheap over the long run.

maybe not so much a sense of responsibility, but an understanding of what it is like to have nothing and be in constant fear of homelessness. even though i have a DSP, i am iin constant fear of it being cut and going back into poverty.

yes i don't know what is causing the shaking, maybe my medication, maybe medication less effective, or maybe something more. i am very tired all the time and have involintary movements of my arms and legs.

that is a shame you are not able to garden at the moment, maybe your son can help you?, maybe benificial for you both? it is so good your sons health is taking priority, you sound like such a great mum, my mother is amazing, she helps me out without any judgement, but i think she struggles with the life i find myself having. maybe she wanted more for me, maybe she deserved a better son.

In response to: Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

@Jacques,

I like the idea of you possibly seeing or hearing something I've done and not know it. But the projects I've been involved with are very small scale and marginal and that's not likely to change. The loss of anonymity would happen if I posted any of the work here just because they are credited under my real name. Plus I may have some irrational fears about it.

I too often feel like I have nothing to do and yet recognise that there are heaps of things I could be doing and at least some things I am doing. I try to be patient and not panic at my regular feelings of dissatisfaction with myself. Trying not to compare myself to others too much sometimes helps.

If nothing else we are writing and communicating with each other here and that is doing something. 🙂

In response to: Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

@Jacques

Thanks for caring about my son. He is reluctantly and minimally compliant with MH services, but becoming more mature as we all do. When I was my son's age I could not relate to gardening. So I dont push it. He will help with a big job if I need him. I share quite a few interests with my son and see a bigger need to get him out in groups with others so that he can move on with his own contacts and interests.

My brother was very handy, like you, and could fix most things and loved leadlighting. I am pretty sure that MI is related to social status and we just had the bad luck to be at the bottom of the pile, but we had plenty of positive traits, developed skills etc etc. as well, even the ones who died. Not really any different to the heaps of families I have met and worked with over the years.

Dont take everything on yourself personally about being a good enough son. We are told in therapy that we have only to be "good enough mothers" and I sure that applies to sons too.

In response to: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Re: What sort of planning have you done for old age?

Oh @Jacques

Oh.....you have set your boat, you are ready to sail....that is Wonderfiul

So so creative

You might not be ' doing ' it but i feel it shows where your creativity is going. Yes.

Hour writing has given me insight on how my son is.

Thankyou sincerely, from

@justanother47yr

21 - 30 of 38