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Horrendous anxiety flare up

Horrendous anxiety flare up

I just needed a place to 'talk' about this. Help me work it thorugh a bit maybe. Forgive the wall of words.

I have had anxiety ranging from so severe that it kept me house bound, to a sort of ever present but manageable level for many years. Really started in childhood but was just chalked up to being 'shy', and then 'needy' and then 'difficult' and then 'bad work ethic' and so on.

For the last 10 years or so I am have been mostly able to cope, hold down jobs (albeit with a lot of 'sickies'), maintain a couple of freindships, and manage most elements of daily life most of the time. I am now at a point where I work for a great organisation in the mental health sector, so I can be upfront about WHY I need to have time off sometimes, and a job that has recently blossomed into a career path.

Woke up ths morning with terrible anxiety - mostly triggered by a couple of shitty things coinciding that are going to require me to do a lot more of the stuff that makes me super anxious than usual, as well as being upsetting in and of themselves.

Usually the day after a long weekend I get a bit of anxiety (m y routine is disrupted and the increased time away form work makes it very hard to go back sometimes), but it is at a level I can push through. Today is BAD and I am not gonna make it to work. I have let my boss know and it is ok. But I still feel like shit taking a day off immediately after a long weekend. Like I am taking the piss. And I have to get on top of it, because it can easily blow out of control, the more days of work I miss the less likely I am to be able to get back.

I feel really frustrated because my life is SO pared down. I hardly ever go out, I keep stimulus to a minimum, I take a battery of supplements, I have healthy practices in place, I have safety nets built in all over the place to ward off bad spells like this and they STILL bloody happen.

I want to be able to have a little bit more from life, not much, just a smidge, but I am already living right up to the line that I can manage, and over it sometimes. Over the weekend I was thinking wistfully of trying to start jogging again, something I love but which I have not had the spare emotional energy for quite a while. I was thinking about trying to find a psychologist to get some help for the billionth time, and about seeing a physio for my shoulder which needs rehab. I can't DO any of it. Can't actually face any of it right now. And this is the optional stuff. Right now I can't face the stuff that I do, absolutely need to do - which is also the main stuff upsetting me.

I get a spell like this and something has to give, something that matters to me, like work, or going to the gym or seeing a friend (something I only get to do once every couple of months anyhow) because I just don't have enough resources to handle it. And I don't have much left that I can cut down on.

I have already had to cut down my sessions with my trainer form 3 times a week to 2 times a week because I was not coping with having to leave the house on Saturdays - it was killing my weekend productivity (which then causes me major anxiety). I don't have anything except the gym left that I can cut out really and I really don't want to do that - I don't think I have anough oomph left in me to keep at it on my own. I am working on setting up a home gym (this involves a fairly major overhaul of the garage) so I can at least have a trainer come to me instead of having to go out, but because I have been so drained on weekends this is taking months and months. If I quit training now there is no telling how long it will take to get up again.

I get so frustrated feeling like 'nobody' gets it. 'Nobody' understands that I am pushing myself to the limit every single day that I make it out of the house, and even on the days that I don't make it. It is so god damned HARD sometimes, and I have so little to show for it. People don't realise what the little I have costs me to keep, the sheer number of things I have to give up just in order to be able to do what I can do and they are ALWAYS pushing me to do more in a million little ways that they don't even see as being significant because for them it is easy, so easy that it is invisible.

So I just wanted to post a bit of a whinge on here, where I know there are people who do 'get it', and maybe try to convince myself that I am not tanking my job and my life in one day over nothing.

178 replies

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In response to: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

hello @Chookmojo

If your talking to me.....no. no idea. Im always tired. But in the last two weeks, Ive been thinking of starting my excersise routine again.

I feel like a new person that, in the last 6 months, ive stopped blaming myself for losing my home. Because of dreams and memories, realising that my Dad bullied me into selling it and helpnig his business.

In response to: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

dearest @Appleblossom and @Chookmojo an of course....@boot and @lisajane,

Was it you @Chookmojo who commented on fear of intimacy ? Yes. Im right there. It is difficult isnt it. I feel like crying reading this because i feel so strongly.....that our Aussie society do not hold onto things like hugging, cherished times of being a woman.....holding onto....say a pretty broach your partner gives you.

I need to have flowers, fresh flowers in a vase in my loungeroom. My inimacy. My time.

I waS taught to find and hold onto very tightly a friend, like a support friend, one I can bounce ideas on.

How does this feel to you ?

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

I bet a lot of girls were taught to hold on to a special friend but what happens to the newbie.

The blocks around me started to dissolve when I was about 16. I had been in one place for a few years and could actually get to know a few people. Before then, maybe many had special friends but I was always getting yanked and moved on by welfare or parents. So nobody to bounce ideas off. or the ideas started off as ... hmmm you already know. They all had too many problems overwhelming problems .. not easy chatting, I felt sorry for a lot of people, but realised later I actually had it hard.

My own internal creativity and blocks, ebb and flow.

Were you talking to anyone in particular @chookmojo or just throwing it out to the universe?

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

@PeppiPatty hey that's great that you have stopped blaming yourself and are thinking about getting back into exercise, sounds like that block is starting to shift at least a bit.

Yeah, I have tremendous issues with intimacy and its a bit of a mystery to me, I don't really know what it is about or why it is so, I am just super uncomfortable with it. I am very much an introvert, need lots of alone time. I haven't really had a special friend I have truly felt able to bounce things off for many years, I think that is why I have found seeing the psychologist quite good. It's nice to be able to talk without worrying about how this will affect them or our relationship. I do have some good friends but there are so manyno go areas, mostly I have only myself to bounce things off.

In response to: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

@Appleblossom Not having those artificial standards is great if it means you don't feel unable to give things a go, I need to learn to develop that acceptance. I understand it and agree with it mentally, but I still freeze up because I don't want to 'waste' paper, paint etc and because putting myself on the page is just too intimate. Too vulnerable.

Well originally my question was for @justanother47yR but I am happy to hear from anyone about their blocks and what they know about them, more perspectives are so helpful.

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Sorry to butt in .. its a position only some music teachers take, but others most certainly dont, There are skill levels and it does takes work not just inborn talent to attain them .. but a child in anon musical family has to work twice as hard as one that listens and is involved in music-making , Anyway that is my opinion .. but it does not help to stop yourself before you even start any activity .. I SAW WHAT THAT DID TO MY SON ... I dont waste enough paper to worry when I draw or doodle etc.. recycler from way back.

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

dearest @Chookmojo,

Ive seen you on the forums for a long time now but dont know if we've written. Yeah, its a major thing to me and then......two people came, today, this afternoon, to visit me and verified the stalker stuff......a year of nightmare there.

Im an extrovert but need to spend a lot of time alone too. You need to do what fits but when I mean, find a good friend, its like, it just happens and when you say..look Im this really proud consumer which means I have had the guts to access help from mental health agencies in the past...... it all seems to fall into place and the next thing you know.....one day....down the track.......your saying yeah, Im just saying I wanna find someone I can run by a few things.........

The person who's my support person right now is a wonderful man who is passionate about the wellbeing of his children and his Grandchildren. I paid him to service my car......oh, hes done a great job.

He likes my husband and is very interested in my reading which is usually about Mental Health. He also experiences times of mental ill health.

Super uncomfortable.....i feel like this when Im with my husband. Someone who truly loves me. I can't get close to him. He is asleep at the moment and was...amazing when those two people came over about the stalker but.....im sitting here thinking......oh, he looks like this, these two kind people are going to think like that......but i'de rather be with my control. My low opinion of myself

I'

In response to: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

@chookmojo I wanted to thank you for writing this post (even though it was started a while ago) I also suffer with bouts of anxiety, and it's somewhat comforting to be reminded that I'm not alone. Unfortunately for me, anxiety can bring on my epileptic seizures. This occured last year when I was meant to do my uni prac work, as I was quite anxious leading up to it and not sleeping properly. I arrived for my first day of prac and was there about 15 minutes and had a seizure (thankfully I was neither driving at the time or taking care of any patients - imagine a wrongly placed syringe?) . I ended up being admitted to the ward over night for observation, had my prac work cancelled and wasn't allowed to drive for 2 months. This led to a deep depression and it was even days before I was even able to cry - I just felt dead inside. I felt that if one more thing went wrong, that something deep inside me would 'crack' and I'd end up in a psych ward.

Now, almost 12 months later, I'm trying to work on my anxiety, so that when I do face prac work again, I can succeed. The amount of deep breathing I've had to do recently - I'm sure I'm sucking all the oxygen out of the air! But it's frustrating cos as soon as I feel like I'm starting to gain back that control a bit more, some other external thing happens to make me feel anxious (though other people seem to think I'm making a big deal out of nothing). If only I'd gotten the help I needed 18 yrs ago, when I first started exhibiting signs of depression and self harm, perhaps my MI might not have gotten so extreme.

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

@Ace85 I know an older lady nurse who is very DTE and manages her epilepsy and employment without fuss .. and says she wishes others would too. Good luck with it.

@chookmojo horrendous anxiety describes me too ..

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Could you please clarify what you mean by DTE? Until last year, I lasted almost 6 years without any day-time seizures (though I've had many night time ones which have resulted in varying injuries, including a sprained ankle, split head and black eyes), which is why I'm able to drive. I find it tricky at times, as course coordinators and others continually ask me whether I feel that nursing is what I really want to do. They might intend well, but I already have a propensity towards self-doubt and they just add to it.
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