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Horrendous anxiety flare up

Horrendous anxiety flare up

I just needed a place to 'talk' about this. Help me work it thorugh a bit maybe. Forgive the wall of words.

I have had anxiety ranging from so severe that it kept me house bound, to a sort of ever present but manageable level for many years. Really started in childhood but was just chalked up to being 'shy', and then 'needy' and then 'difficult' and then 'bad work ethic' and so on.

For the last 10 years or so I am have been mostly able to cope, hold down jobs (albeit with a lot of 'sickies'), maintain a couple of freindships, and manage most elements of daily life most of the time. I am now at a point where I work for a great organisation in the mental health sector, so I can be upfront about WHY I need to have time off sometimes, and a job that has recently blossomed into a career path.

Woke up ths morning with terrible anxiety - mostly triggered by a couple of shitty things coinciding that are going to require me to do a lot more of the stuff that makes me super anxious than usual, as well as being upsetting in and of themselves.

Usually the day after a long weekend I get a bit of anxiety (m y routine is disrupted and the increased time away form work makes it very hard to go back sometimes), but it is at a level I can push through. Today is BAD and I am not gonna make it to work. I have let my boss know and it is ok. But I still feel like shit taking a day off immediately after a long weekend. Like I am taking the piss. And I have to get on top of it, because it can easily blow out of control, the more days of work I miss the less likely I am to be able to get back.

I feel really frustrated because my life is SO pared down. I hardly ever go out, I keep stimulus to a minimum, I take a battery of supplements, I have healthy practices in place, I have safety nets built in all over the place to ward off bad spells like this and they STILL bloody happen.

I want to be able to have a little bit more from life, not much, just a smidge, but I am already living right up to the line that I can manage, and over it sometimes. Over the weekend I was thinking wistfully of trying to start jogging again, something I love but which I have not had the spare emotional energy for quite a while. I was thinking about trying to find a psychologist to get some help for the billionth time, and about seeing a physio for my shoulder which needs rehab. I can't DO any of it. Can't actually face any of it right now. And this is the optional stuff. Right now I can't face the stuff that I do, absolutely need to do - which is also the main stuff upsetting me.

I get a spell like this and something has to give, something that matters to me, like work, or going to the gym or seeing a friend (something I only get to do once every couple of months anyhow) because I just don't have enough resources to handle it. And I don't have much left that I can cut down on.

I have already had to cut down my sessions with my trainer form 3 times a week to 2 times a week because I was not coping with having to leave the house on Saturdays - it was killing my weekend productivity (which then causes me major anxiety). I don't have anything except the gym left that I can cut out really and I really don't want to do that - I don't think I have anough oomph left in me to keep at it on my own. I am working on setting up a home gym (this involves a fairly major overhaul of the garage) so I can at least have a trainer come to me instead of having to go out, but because I have been so drained on weekends this is taking months and months. If I quit training now there is no telling how long it will take to get up again.

I get so frustrated feeling like 'nobody' gets it. 'Nobody' understands that I am pushing myself to the limit every single day that I make it out of the house, and even on the days that I don't make it. It is so god damned HARD sometimes, and I have so little to show for it. People don't realise what the little I have costs me to keep, the sheer number of things I have to give up just in order to be able to do what I can do and they are ALWAYS pushing me to do more in a million little ways that they don't even see as being significant because for them it is easy, so easy that it is invisible.

So I just wanted to post a bit of a whinge on here, where I know there are people who do 'get it', and maybe try to convince myself that I am not tanking my job and my life in one day over nothing.

178 replies

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In response to: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Hi @chookmojo,

I'm sorry to read about the rough patch you've been through recently, particularly losing your chooks, that was very sad. Thank you for sharing a picture of your feathered family, they were gorgeous. It's lovely to hear that they had a wonderful spoilt life with you 🙂 I hope you will be able to adopt some more feathered friends (and create a compromise coop!) when you decide the time is right.

Glad to see your mood has lifted back to your chirpy self now 🙂

You mentioned in an earlier post that you were frustrated realising that something you thought you needed to cope (weed) was actually standing in the way of you getting the most out of your life. I just wanted to remind you to be gentle with yourself and recognise that you were just trying to cope and doing what you thought would be helpful at that time. There's no need to beat yourself up about that, just appreciate how far you have come in adding more helpful coping strategies to your repertoire.

It's great that you've found your medication so helpful. I couldn't agree more that having developed a range of coping strategies over the years has put you in a stronger position to cope with whatever challenges arise, and that the more resources you have the better!

I'm so happy to hear that you're finding your psychologist good. Having someone to bounce ideas off without having to worry about the impact on your relationship can be so helpful. It seems like researching Autism Spectrum Disorder and discussing this diagnosis with your psychologist has brought you a lot of clarity - and relief? It's wonderful to hear that you no longer feel like a failure!! What an amazing thing that your perpetual sense of being a 'bad person' is starting to shift with this new information... seems like a solid foundation stone for rebuilding your self-worth.

Your idea of talking to your husband about how ASD may be affecting your relationship, perhaps in a session with your psychologist, sounds very constructive. Your plan to explore that avoidance of intimacy might be helpful too. Regarding what you were saying about empathy not coming easily to you, it's interesting that you don't come across to me that way - the responses you write to other Forum members are very empathic and supportive. I believe it's a very common thing to want to jump to finding a solution when hearing others' problems - it's hard to sit with someone in distress, our natural instinct is to do something to help them, and I think we are trained to be very action-oriented culturally, so it makes sense that that would be our immediate response. I don't know if that resonates with you, just something I find interesting.

So after all these recent ups and downs, how is your routine looking? Spending some quality time with your cats? Any progress on the home gym? Have you been able to have another go at colouring? I know the reading is going well... loved this:

"Well the damn has burst and ALL the books will be mine!!"

Even though your garden isn't feeling the same right now I hope this lovely springtime sunshine tempts you out again soon. Wonderful advice from @Former-Member about getting started, it seems to have worked really well for you.

Look forward to hearing more of your journey.

Shimmer 🙂

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Dang and blast and poot! I have written a lovely long reply to @Shimmer 3 times now and everytime it only posts a 'saved draft' version.... which is not the full reply.

In response to: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Hi @chookmojo,

I am so excited to hear you and your husband have come to a compromise, i am so looking forward to seeing the new chooks, please take a photo of the new chook coop, i would love to see it.

Take Care

Jacques

In response to: Re: Horrendous anxiety flare up

Hi ho, hi ho, its back to work I go....

Today will be my first day back at work after being sick for all of last week. I'm not anxious but I am feeling a bit daunted and not sure if I will make it through the whole day as I was up half the night coughing. My whole body is so sore from coughing and my voice is all funny and squeaky. I have a presentation to do tomorrow for managers coming in from interstate! Hope I don't give them all this lurgy....

In one week we start the next round of the big project I have been working on, and now that I have been away sick I am rather behind on my other work and not likely to get it all finished before hand.

So yeah, not anxious, but a little daunted.

In response to: Hi ho, hi ho, its back to work I go....

Daunted no more!!

I got into work and happily there was hardly any backlog for me to work through, I was absolutely not 'in trouble' (as my catastrophic thinking would have liked me to believe) for taking so much time off, and I have in fact been encouraged to go home this morning and get completely well, so I will be leaving shortly once I have have done the few tasks that needed attention today.

I am SO grateful that thanks to the meds I didn't have anxiety last night and wasn't upset about coming back to work. Even my VERY reduced, VERY slight concerns about my extended absences were unfounded.

Feeling good. Well sick, but you know what I mean.

In response to: Daunted no more!!

Re: Daunted no more!!

Being in a social/work situation where you are respected and cared for is HUGE. Go home and get well Bella.

In response to: Re: Daunted no more!!

Re: Daunted no more!!

I'm so glad to hear that your first day back went well and your boss is looking after you!! Hope you cough less tonight and get extra sleep! I always rub vicks into the kids feet and then put socks over at night to help them sleep better and cough less, plus the vapouriser on 😄 😄

Hope tomorrow is another successful day!

take care of you,

LJ

In response to: Re: Daunted no more!!

Re: Daunted no more!!

I'm confused ... @Former-Member we got a vaporiser for our kids but then a doctor told me they had gone out of fashion because they encouraged more spores and so infections ... medical fads change almost as much as hemlines .. I cant keep up.

In response to: Re: Daunted no more!!

Re: Daunted no more!!

Yes I am too... one paediatrician told me that they are great and should have them on all the time down here in dry climates but then when we were in hospital a dr there told me he'd never allow one in his house lol

who knows!

In response to: Re: Daunted no more!!

Re: Daunted no more!!

SO much for doctor consensus

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