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I just wish I was understood. I have ASDas well as depression and anxiety. Tonight has been a terrible night. My partner made a comment and I totally melted down. I cried for nearly two hours. My poor 8 yr old is so confused. My partner is angry at me cos I locked myself in the bedroom and yells him to leave me alone. My dog won't even come near me. I just want to cry. I want him to understand my pain. I can't sleep, I'm not hungry, not thirsty. I just want the pain to stop.
Hi @GeekChick, I have ASD too. I hear you when you say you wish you could be understood. 😊
In response to: Alone and not understood
GeekChickContributor
Re: Alone and not understood
Hi @Former-Member, I actually have a doctors appointment on Saturday and I'm hoping that my records will have arrived from down south so I can get a mental health care plan and hopefully the doc can point me to a psych. But man they are so expensive even after the rebates! In the meantime, I'll just keep checking in here.
In response to: Alone and not understood
GeekChickContributor
Re: Alone and not understood
Hi @Shaz51 and everyone! I moved states from Victoria (where my toxic family is) to Queensland. Big city to regional centre and I love it. Job is very similar which helps. Moving was extremely stressful and I feel like I did most of the work. My family are still dark at us for moving but they can jam it. They're a good part of the reason I got sick in the first place. I thought I'd check in tonight. I've decided that night time should be banned. I can be fine all day then come dark and I'm down again. I've amused myself for most of the night with my son and the cub scout pack but my son's asleep now. And so the darkness returns. And the feelings of loneliness and hopelessness and everything else. I just wish I knew why. I'd be a millionaire if I could solve that one and suddenly everyone on here would want the cure. Don't blame them really! 😊 @Phoenix_Rising thanks for sharing about ASD. I know we see the world a little different again to everyone else so it's comforting to know that someone out there might get my black and white, blunt nature. ASD knows no grey! Anyway, my partner will be home soon so I'll see how we go tonight. We were kinda talking this morning (not angry at each other just not saying much) so I hope tonight is better again. Gimme a shout if anyone needs it. GeekChick
In response to: Re: Alone and not understood
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: Alone and not understood
@Phoenix_Rising thanks for sharing about ASD. I know we see the world a little different again to everyone else so it's comforting to know that someone out there might get my black and white, blunt nature. ASD knows no grey!
@GeekChick I definitely know how frustrating it can be to not feel understood by others. I have a psychiatric diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and for almost two decades, all my muddle was viewed through that lens. I figured out myself that I had ASD about three years ago, and then I went and got the formal diagnosis at an autism specialist clinic. ASD and BPD share some common traits, including black and white thinking. For me it was super validating getting the ASD diagnosis because I had come to realise that not all of my muddle could be explained by BPD. I am still trying to get a sense of who I am and stuff though. I mean, BPD is considered an illness and is treateable. ASD is simply a different way of being in the world. This means that right now, I'm not sure what "getting better" looks like for me. It's all just one big muddle at the moment. It's nice to have someone else with ASD around here.
In response to: Alone and not understood
GeekChickContributor
Re: Alone and not understood
Hey @Phoenix_Rising, @Former-Member, @Shaz51, Feeling pretty lonely tonight. Got in the shower this morning, getting ready to go to work and burst into tears. I just couldn't do it. I've been OK all day cos I was getting jobs done and taking my son to swimming but I feel alone now. And my dog didn't eat her dinner and she's all lethargic on the couch so I'm worried about her too. She's got no fever, panting, seizures or anything like that. I hope she just ate something untoward and will expel it in time. How are you guys doing tonight?
In response to: Alone and not understood
GeekChickContributor
Re: Alone and not understood
Hey @Pepsimax - sorry missed you in the hellos!
In response to: Re: Alone and not understood
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: Alone and not understood
Hi @GeekChick,
I'm afraid you've caught me just as I am about to turn the computer off for the night, but I wanted to say "hi". I am sorry to hear your dog seems unwell - I know how super stressful that can be.
I have had a relatively calm day after an extremely challenging week. I am about to head off to bed now and I'm hoping for another calm day tomorrow. I'm sorry I can't hang around and chat, but I know there are a LOT of night-owls here in Forum Land. They tend to hang out on some of the threads under the "enjoying time with others" heading. You are definitely not alone now that you have found your way to Forum Land. Night.
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