Psychosis content why?

Hi I'm new to this site, and came here to get some insight into ptsd and psychosis. Both of which I have experienced. The majority of psychosis events were directly following drug use, where I had voices chanting at me telling me to do things, telling me that "they" were coming to get me, telling me all sorts of terrible things that "they" would do to me and my kids. also I had hallucinations of unspeakable horror, which I won't mention. At the time I thought that an individual who I was in a relationship with was some how telepathically communicating with me and putting these voices in my head, trying to extort me through threats to my family, children and self. Also during these events I experienced, olfactory hallucinations, could smell poo, and then roses, visual hallucinations, could see smoke coming from the walls, and tactile hallucinations, could feel pressure in my back, at my temple, on other ares of my body, my mind assigning meaning to that. I experienced in an 18month period, whilst with that abusive partner over 20 psychotic episodes, the content of which I realise now that he had seeded, then once I was drugged the psychosis would explode and steam roll in catostrophic proportions. On top of all that which has contributed to ptsd, I was also subjected to a near on constant amount of psychological trauma by him and his friends that was malicious, mean and evil.The worst episodes of psychosis happened 4 months after I got away from that monster. I was working in a restaurant kitchen doing kitchen hand work, over a 3 day period I had escalating psychosis that went from anxity causing horror to complete panic attack hyperventilation, struggled to servive those nights. The content of the psychosis was ridiculous extreme, worse than the concentration camps, just utter madness. All of it being this dark foreboding threat, and was extortionate in nature, I had voices chanting at me, I felt like something "him" was trying to get the name of a person from my mind, as though I was under psychic attack, (I used intense mindfulness and positive affirmations to get through my shifts and get home) I had hallucinations of terrible things happening to my loved ones... The thing is I had not drunk or used drugs for 4 months, and suspected that I had my drink spiked from a new person working those nights . I'm so paranoid about new unknowns in my space. In hind site (that was 2 years ago) is that i most likely had a flash back, bought on by the stress of that environment. The last major psychotic episode happened two months later, I stupidly had a drink to celebrate something, and was spending the evening with a drug user, my resolve dropped with the wine's and I was happy relaxed and felt like celebrating my recovery. So so so stupid to think that having drugs would be nice and relaxing. Big big huge lapse in judgement. I used, and then spent the following 42 hours with voices screaming in my head to do horrible things, that "they" will do worst things to me and my kids if I didn't do what they told me. I had utter horror going through my mind, just when I had the worst thought and threats enter my head , another even worse threat would be there, in total I reckon over 20 extreme threats and ideation's came into my head space that are unspeakable . In hind site I can rationalise where that content came from. He had put the seeds of all of it in my head in those 18 months with him, I can see parallels to it all. So since then I am dry, and straight. Am surrounded by good people, and keep my life very simple, I use mindfulness, gratitude, and I vounter, I have a new puppy, and do knitting and painting, the only psychosis I have now is on the occasions when I get anxious and start having tramatic memories and feel vulnerable that people are out to kidnap me and my kids, ( as that was what he threatened me with ) I tell myself that he was f**king with me, so it's just a threat. And not real, then my nose will itch, which I observe as a message from him that means no he is serious... Any way. I've had full blown schizophrenia psychosis, prior to him I was diagnosed with bpd, pnd. I have a family history of mi, my brother was schizophrenic in the 70's and died whilst institutionalised, my other brother, committed suicide 6months before that monster tried to get my complete control. I have had times when I saw things in colours, that certain colours ment certain things, when I felt compelled to notice every license plate on every car, then make a sentence from the letters that was a message to me. Where everything in my environment had a secret message for me built into it. Like a picture, or the words in a news paper, or songs on the radio, post's on facebook, or emails in my inbox, even birds outside my window tweeting, or the fly that was buzzing around was a spy camara. I went through a phase where all I could do was limit all stimulus so I would not get those damn messages, I went offline for over a year and still refuse to use facebook, I would drive down the street with blinkers on, like concisely apply tunnel vision to my sight to limit input to my mind. I could not look at text, listen to music, watch TV, I was too paranoid to go outside incase the spies and kidnappers were out there stalking me (he used the term "gang stalking"), I struggled to eat, because of the content from the psychosis. I practised meditation and mindfulness. And lived cognitively. Just to type this is healing because rembering me then and seeing me now is a miracle. The only hugely depressing thing that is real for me is the nightmares which fall into PTSD. Every night since I walked out of his life, I have had nightmares often multiple nightmares. And no 2 the same. Every single one unique. The theme though is the same, the story he's put in there, the trauma from him and the psychosis. Some of them are that bad that I'm getting ptsd from my sleep. I once thought that the psychotic nightmares i was having, was him threating me psychicly in my sleep. As i heal more though I realize that i have PTSD, and that it is absolutly no wonder that I have nightmare's, the psychosis was utterly terrifing. His treatment tramatic. I'm sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed that I chose drugs as a form of self medicating, when I was dealing with stress. I'm all those things again for being so vulnerable when he came in my life, I'm angry that he chose to abuse and manipulate me I'm angry that he tried to addict me to his drug, and that when he knew I was under the influence that he put a mountain of horror in my head. I'm furious he threated my children and family in so many ways and so many times (i think i was tramatised so deeply that I could not process what he was doing and saying, and my mind buried it at the time, for it only to surface months later...) I would like to know about other survivors of psychosis especally if they had someone being nefarious, and what the content is like? I witnessed my mother in psychosis from Alzheimer's, that was between my 2 biggest psychosis episodes that I mentioned here. I could relate to her experience, I felt very worried for her in that as an elderly, under educated person she could not grasp that she was psychotic, she had God talking to her, and the devil, she had her mother talking to her, and the content and tone of her psychosis was mainly based around her abandonment as a child, and her guilt around certain tramatic events in her life, themes of not being good and having the devil in her, ( mums deeply religious). <As for my psychosis content, it's all extortion based, demands or else. I never acted on any of the demands the voices made, I kept focusing on white light and held myself anchored in the belief that to my heart I am a good person. I now manage every aspect of my life, I acknowledge i have PTSD, and had severe psychosis, and still mild psychosis. I know my triggers to recalls, I'm slowly beginning to process the trauma, as I think that now that I'm stronger, healther, and further away from that time, that that might be the way to stop the nightmares. On a positive note, the good from this is that, I have self forgivness, forgivness to my parents, (mine was a void on many levels upbringing, I grew up scared).and an understanding of the borderline personality disorder, which i was diagnosed with in that 18 months. I've finally grown up, am responsible for my self, and my behaviour, have a transparent life, (ie i will only do things i'm proud of) no more running around doing shameful things im not proud of. I am clean, teatotal, and best of all, back for my kids and better then I was before. Before all this I was an exceptional mum. I love my kids so much, and am devistated that my envolvment with that monster, might have put them in harms way. That they had such a wonderful vibrant vital mum in me, then see me crash so hard. I think back to that time, such a f**ing nightmare. I get depressed some times, and anxious from his threats, I remind myself that I'm here, in my space, away from him and all the abuse, i understand why I am worried. And try so hard to remain present. because if I let the worry envelope me and my mind run, then he's winning again.