Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

if the house SIL lives in is large there is good prbablility for reasonable outcome and SIL will probably be quite happy to settle in to a smaller place suiltable for herself .. when the time arrives. Nobody wants to predict the future and wills can often be sticking points. Be patient and kind and youf hubby will eventually be freed up from his handyman role for them.

Thanks for your thoughts Carer101

As MIL is nearly 90, frail, but not yet in need of personal assistance with daily self care, what we're more likely expecting is MIL suddenly shuffling off of the mortal coil following an acute episode of heart failure.

We don't know what to expect in terms of SIL's response to that inevitabilty, or who or how to help her with that. Will my husband be allowed to talk to SIL's treating professionals in those circumstances?

Thanks Appleblossom

Do you, or anyone else on the forum, know of someone, or an organisation perhaps, that we can talk to about what's available or suitable in terms of accommodation/living arrangements for people like SIL who are unable to fully participate in community? It would be preferable to be pre-armed with options before bereavement, rather than trying to fathom the whole gamut once everyone is knee-deep in grief.

Hi ChocolateBlonde, great to see you connecting here

I'm not sure which part of Australia you are, rural vs metro etc .... there are organisations that provide support for people to live independently. Often there are outreach workers connected or housing provided (not as easy to access). There are also case managers connected with mental health services who can support her to get it sorted and with her permission could support you and the family to do this when this challenging time comes. Just wondering has your SIL mentioned this issue? It sounds like she's open to support which is really positive.

Has anyone else had experience with housing support options?

Hi everyone,

It's that time of the week again - ASK ANYTHING MONDAY!

@ChocolateBlonde - thanks for continuing the discussion on from your question. It's been great to see the feedback others have provided too. You might find it helpful to start a new discussion to get more feedback, as we're moving onto a new question for this week.

On that note - this week's question comes from a new member who asks:

Hi

I am new to the SANE Forum.
I would like to know more about Borderline Personality Disorder especially in relation to hoarding. I would like some advice about strategies when living with a partner in this situation. Is it possible to bring about change? Leaving the relationship is a very drastic solution.

Thank you

Hmm it's very quiet this week.

I have seen some discussions regarding hoarding here

@Dax_dog , @Missy and @Snowdrop do you have any tips in relation to the question above?

There's also a great discussion started by @Brodie here which contains tips for families and friends.

There are many people here who are caring for someone with BPD - some that spring to mind include - @Hope @BananaHammock , @pjc11 and @parent1 - I'm not sure if anyone has delt with a combination of BPD and hoarding, but regardless, would be great to get some insight from you all in regards to the question above.

Thanks!

I don't know much about hoarding, but have learnt a shiteload about BPD over the years. Might be asking my own questions too soon!

However, I don't think I'm anywhere near qualified to give advice. I can try to find some of the downloads I've found helpful and pass on the websites? I reckon they'll be heaps more people on here with more knowledge though.

Just sending my hugs though to you, for asking about BPD, it is a tough one, but it CAN be managed. x

ASK ANYTHING MONDAY !

For those who are new to the community, Ask Anything Monday (AAM) is an opportunity for those who may bit a bit hesitant to ask a question, to email us (team@saneforums.org) and we put the question up on your behalf, completely anonymously. Even though the Forums are anonymous, some members don't feel comfortable, feel like they may be judged or just nervous about posting for the first time.

So if you fall into any of those categories, please drop us an email with your question.

This week's question is something I think a lot of carers can relate to, regardless of who you care for:

My husband and I have been together for a long time now. I'm somewhat comfortable and accepting of my caring role. The only thing I've never got use to is the guilt I feel when I have negative thoughts about my husband. For example, last week I had a great day, but dreaded going home to my husband because he's been particularly unwell. All I wanted to do was go home and share my excitement, but I knew there was no point, because when he's unwell, he can't see past himself.

I understand why he's like this etc - but my main thing is the guilt I feel about thinking these things!

Does anyone else feel this way and if so, how do you manage it?