hello @Linmerc
You must be feeling a whole range of emotions - perhaps even not feeling anything - numb - shellshocked.
First of all a little information on major depression.
Major depression is very draining on the person who has the illness but can also affect those living with that person.
I have endured this illness for the majority of my life.
Debilitating symptoms for my illness have affected my socialising, my driving confidence, my leaving the house, my answering the telephone.
When at my worst I hide within my home, in my room sometimes when people come unannounced. I notice when i start to feel better that I had stopped smiling. focussing is very difficult. energy levels deplete rapidly. motivation, enthusiasm, spontaneity, joy what are these things.... basically get up get through the day often counting the hours to when i can get back in to bed and escape the world in sleep. i have medication to go to sleep which still does not work if there is trauma in my life. I have anxiety in the mixture.
Behaviour as far a having affairs does not fit the mould of depression. The fact that he has had quite a few affairs sounds as though he is running away from responsibility, communication, there may be an underlying issue. this all needs to be determined by a psychiatrist.
i do think it would be helpful for you to see a psychologist. you would come under the category of carer as you have been there for him whilst all this occurred and was then diagnosed.
Ring Carers Australia or NEAMI or one of the other organisations listed on this website. if unsure or you just dont have the energy to look (which is more than understanding given your situation) ring sane ph no 1800187263 listed in the top right hand corner of this page. You are very important in this equation. You need to be listened to, taken notice of, heard. You have been pushed aside, disrespected and you need to be told how important you are, that you are still valued as a person.
Your children, (who are also affected in this mess) unsure of their ages, might also want some family counselling. all of this can be discussed when talking to one of the organisations.
He is being looked after by whoever diagnosed him.He is an adult. I imagine you want space from him whilst you collect your thoughts.
Please think of yourself and your children first, top priority. When you speak to a counsellor/psychologist they might suggest best living arrangements moving forward.
I cannot comment on that or make that decision for you.
We are contributors on here who assist someone in our life with a mental illness of some kind, some of us have a mental illness of our own as well.
We can talk about our own experiences, feelings. We are unable to advise you though just point you in certain directions where to get some help.
You are entitled to help. please dont think like i did that I didnt deserve it. You do and accept it.
please keep writing your thoughts, comments anything on here. keep the communication flowing. this will help you.
we all use the forums differently. I write my feelings and they turn into storybooks. This helps me tremendously even though my husband doesn't like me on here.
we are here to support you through this by reading your posts. responding. everything is confidential. there are no expectations, no judgements.
You will find compassion and caring.
I really dont know if i would have survived if i hadnt found this forum.
The people I meet on the two different forums all have beautiful souls. we respond when we are able. there will always be someone who will respond to you
welcome and safe journey xx
