Wow @CherryBomb - I wanna come to your house for dinner ❣ That vegetarian Paella looks a-may-zing !!
Its still too early for dinner over our way, but this is what it will look like, hooefully ...
A simple linguine pasta with tomato, onion and garlic sauce, cheese, and a salad.
Anger for me is signal that something has to change .... I had to learn that though .... I was not being treated with much respect in some of my relationships and the people concerned played by different social rules ....
They were power games, which was entirely new to me, and when I thought I was communicating about the issues and they would have empathy, I found they couldn't care less about me, what I was feeling, or how we might improve the relationships .... it was a "winner takes all" mentality ....
My shock turned to anger (there's the signal), but left untreated, the anger turned to bitterness, and I hadn't even realised. Bitterness is the real damage ... it steals joy, it justifies behaving badly in return, in sours your outlook, and poisons your conversations .... and it can begin to set into hatred ....
It took me a while to wake up .... I wasn't a person who hated ....
Oh yes I was !! By then, yes I was .... and I hadn't recognised that within myself either, until I was asked to describe the person I hated, and I could not say one nice thing about them. I was spitting anger, bitterness and hatred.
What to do about it (and I got some help with this) was to start expressing just how angry I was, and why. I had to recognise that I was angry because I felt trapped and helpless. That's what I had to change. When I no longer felt trapped and helpless, anger would flare up momentarily sometimes, but I learned to take better care of myself in those circumstances.
Long answer .... hope it's helpful .... 😏
