Prognosis: "Likely to deteriorate within next 2 years"

I'm starting new thread. I don't feel like saying too much though. Title says it all.

The new Psych was a lovely man. He listened to my son telling him he thinks I'm a reptile-phobian, whatever that means. Maybe he has been noticing my skin is getting wrinkly? I'm really trying to do my best here, knowing it was his mental illess talking and I try to be brave but what am I going to do with the Prognosis the Psych wrote on my sons medical certicate?

It is a good sign my son has some insight and is prepared to talk to professionals and takes his meds.

The psych also wrote me a medical certificate to give to work, I have to care for my son and stay with him for a week.

We both agreed I cannot leave my son alone so I cannot go to work. This has been a great distraction in the past.

My son has been asleep on the coach non stop for 15 hrs, when he woke up he was in Zombie like state.

He smoked a few siggies ate his dinner and now he is banging himself on the head as he wants to go back to sleep and he can't. I hope his meds kick in soon. This is just unbearable, now complaining of restless legs.

The Psych and I discussed oncoming trip overseas, he said he will get him wavers to make him sleep. His next depot will be increased as well. He said not to worry the medication will make him sleep better, and symptoms will settle by time we go.

I am not feeling well myself, deflated, anxious, and thoughts go to my head my son will always be medicated, asleep, a vegetable. We've been at it since he was about 10 yrs old, and it ccontinues on and on.

He is tired of life. I cannot bear the thought he succeeds with another attempt to end it all. But I would understand why as he lives in such a delusional paranoid world, and if sleeping is the only way to disconnect, what is the purpose of living?

A clinic nurse will come and see us tomorrow. I must stay positive and happy and strong but you can see my predicament. I also made appointment with my psychologist who stressed I must keep looking after myself and she clearly understands I need some respite soon so I can recharge. I promised to speak to the clinical nurse tomorrow.

I found another Bongo drum on Gumtree, did some colouring in and went to gym for a bit. I try to keep busy but Im in robot like state.