14th year house bound

Ok Jacques I understand I just don't want you to think that you are alone. I'm here...

I've been looking at the map to see exactly where the macquarry river is

Thank you Karen, I am so sorry,

I have not spoken to mum for 3 days, just not in a good place. i try to look like i am ok to put her at ease, but she can see through it.

i have had a post blocked because i am in such a dark place.

Karen how are you going? sorry i am going to take a shower, see if it can help, i have not slept properly for 4 days. so exhausted.....................

i am so tired of having to hide from you where i live Karen, i don't care who knows, i wish i could tell you so i can describe it better. it's not lake macquarrie it is the macquarry river, their is a difference.

Thanks for letting me know Jacques you don't have to post about how your feeling, you forget I already know.

Talk about the weather, what are the animals doing next door, describe your shed anything I will listen.

I know you are exhausted apart from a shower what else has helped you stay safe when you are struggling like this.

Karen

Sorry Jacques just my bad memory

Jacques your mum must be so worried about you she cares so much for you. I uunderstand you are hiding this from her but she would be devastated if anything happened to you.

You do such a good job of looking after her.

You cook, cut her hair, take her to the shops, doctors appointments, renovating the house, doing the gardening, even finding the strength to take her out on Sundays.

Jacques you are an incredible, resilient man, with untold strength, and perseverance.

Please fight even though you don't want to.

There is also another support sight called

Dnet, I was recommended this sight when I was in the mental health unit, they have a lot of information, it might be what you are looking for.

I've already posted other support services.

Karen

You are such an amazing friend to @Jacques at @hiddenite - I agree with everything that you wrote in your post about Jacques.

Dnet looks like a good resource. I've just added a link in this post to help find it.

Thanks cb , I'm just really concerned for Jacques, and would like him to reach out for help and stay safe.

Karen, all the techniqes i use are not working, i have not had this longer stretch of suicidal thoughts before, it is so scary.

The weather, well it is sunny, got some rain on Sunday, but otherwise very humid, the animals, Well Miss Piggy is back into her mud baths, she has gone from a shade of pink to a deep brown, she always looks so proud of herself when she has her baths, the lambs are still getting into mischef and getting into the wrong paddocks, and the cattle, well they are going good, playing eating and sleeping.

The birds are nesting at the moment, so we have a lot of birds scavanging for food under/through our shrubs, i had to tell one off yesterday because he/she was pulling pieces of flyscreen off the windows, for their nests.

The shed, well i spent last night in the shed discarding old carpet and flyscreen, trying to get it clean enough for the kitchen modules, i don't know if i will have the energy to do the kitchen, i am so unfit and overweight now.