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14th year house bound

14th year house bound

Hi Everyone,

I am new hear, after being removed from other mental health forums for my depressive thoughts i thought i would give this forum a try, this is my story.

I am 33 live with my mother, i am almost compeatly housebound, i leave my house once in the morning for a walk at 6am and maybe once during the week, both times i leave the house fill me with great anxiety, i have no friends, (the last friend i had was in 2001), i have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and never been able to leave my parents side, my father died in 2001 and i have always suffered seperation anxiety the last time i had a night away from home was 1994 for one night (parents had to pick me up at midnight because i was so frantic).

I have spent most of the past 14 years in my room, or the shed, never much out of the yard, no one in my town knows me, people stare and ask each other behind my back if any one knows who i am.

I have only had an income for the past year and spend the previous 7 with no income at all, mum had to use all of her life savings to allow me to live with her and she now has nothing.

I only want to live long enough to care for her in her old age and then i plan to take my own life, i knew from an early age my life would turn out like this, but had no idea how horrible it would be, every day is the same, i often wonder why i keep going, i have very little contact with family (maybe once a year) and i am really struggling to keep going.

Please don't feel distressed about what i am saying, and i am so sorry if i have offended anyone, it is just how i feel.

Their is so much more, but i will leave it at that for the moment, i am shaking and the anxiety is kicking in so thankyou for reading and i will add more later.

Jacques

2719 replies

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In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi @PeppiPatty,

It is nice to see you again, it has been a while, i have missed you. how are you and Arlo going?

I am glad you like reading the messages @PeppiPatty, feel free to join in when you want.

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Oh @Jacques
You cool dude ....... I'm being honest here ...... I often think of Karen ...... In that she really is a good Mum
She just needs a break sometimes
I certainly did ......
So when I think of Karen I think of you
:0)
I've been in a family crisis of my own doing ..... I've been suggesting my youngest brother contacted my other brothers to make peace ......
What came out of it was the absolute horrible mental abuse my stepdad had done to all my brothers
My oldest son
He tried to get my sons taken away from me
That he worked very hard at turning them against me
And sort of succeeded
And the outcome .....good thing of it is that
I'm an okay person .... Still a bit useless but not in a bad way
Because I'm doing the best I can

There was a reason why my life has been so absolutely sad and you know .... I don't care anymore
I just don't care
Because so many people have had it so much worse
I cannot even start to write what others have in their experiences
Because it's upsetting and I LOVE reading your compassion

I'm working out other things
Like how important Arlo is
He has thrown himself on his tiny cushion next to my bed.....
I must send you more photos
Thank you for your message
I bet you didn't expect a two pages monologue back hey 🌻🌺🐅🐰🐴🐎🌼🌷🌴🌴👒❤️🍁🐥🎂🐰🐎🐢🍓

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques

Thanks for the picture it's very cute.

I've got a busy day so I won't be online.

The girls have to see the psychologist, so lots of driving.

I hope you are ok and I'll be thinking of you.

I'm sure you'll be working on the house.

Take care j.

Karen

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi My Angel,

No problem Karen, i thought it might put a smile on your face, it is ok Karen, i hope today goes well, i will be thinking of you, if you are struggling, i will be here, please speak to me if you need some help or support.

You know me too well, yes some more work on the house.

Anyway try to slow things down today if you get overwhelmed.

Take care, be safe.

Jacques

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi @PeppiPatty,

OMG Anne that is so sweet, thank you.

I am so sorry you are having family troubles. it is tough when family's fall apart, family is so important for our wellbeing, i am so impressed with your outlook, yes i often try to remmeber some people have it much worse.

Anne i know you are doing your best, you are a wonderful person, if family is too much Anne, concentrate on Arlo, he loves you, and will always be their for you.

Anne i like reading your posts, i think you are so amazing, how you deal with your past troubles and present ones, you work hard at trying to rebuild bridges, it must be so hard.

Take comfort in the fact that you are trying Anne.

Take care, be safe

Jacques

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques

I'm finished at the house today.

A man came to quote on stumping I was terrified of him. I had to shake his hand at that was it.....

I'm a mess......

I've been having trouble driving the last 5 days.

Everything becomes blurred.

I'm scared of what's happening. I have to drive so far each day.

Now another 2 hours with the girls to see the psychologist.

I don't want to tell anyone I'm so scared and don't know what's happening.

I finished the window winders. And have started putting new locks on the doors.

I'm too tired to manage the bathroom, it's a lot of heavy lifting.

I hope you are ok and getting some work done on the house.

Take care

Karen

In response to: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Oh Karen, you did well, 2 men in two days, it is ok that you are struggling, it has been a big effort for you.

Karen please go and see your doctor, it may be something serious, I get that sometimes I think our heart rate goes Up when we are anxious, high blood pressure is not good. You should get it checked out, just in case.

Karen maybe you should cancel their appointment this week. You don't sound in a good way.

Karen I think you are pushing yourself too hard, I think the holiday and everything else you have had to deal with is taking a toll on your health.

Please take care, if it is too much to drive, ask your mum or cancel your appointments.

I am worried about you Karen. You need a break.

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

I already have high blood pressure Jacques I am on medication for it.

I never thought of that thanks.

I won't let the girls miss an appointment. The psychologist is already concerned that I won't be able to manage all their appointments because of how far I have to drive.

I can't let anyone see that I am struggling so much.

I hope you get a rest today Jacques you've been busy.

Take care

Karen

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Karen, you are reducing how much coke and V you drink, it may be a sugar imballance, your body's reaction to the reduced sugar intake, please go see your doctor.

Oh Karen, you are a good mum, but your health really should come first, especially with this.

Is it possible to get your sister or brother to help out with the driving?

Karen, if no one knows how much you are struggling, how can anyone help? i know you are scared my angel, it is such a lot to deal with on your own, you sound so overwhelmed. i wish their where a way for me to help you.

Karen i did not sleep at all last night, i am so exhaused, i pushed myself to do put down the floor underlay, but i was so tired by the end of it, the show has taken it's tolll on me, i think it has on you too.

I hope you made it to the appointments and got home safely, please if this happens in the future, stop the car at the nearest spot and just take some deep breaths.

You are in my thoughts my angel, please be safe

Jacques

In response to: Re: 14th year house bound

Re: 14th year house bound

Hi Jacques

I'm sorry you didn't sleep, it was a tough night.

The girls have done well with their psychologist today. They made a safe place for themselves with cushions and blankets. Then they practiced mindfulness and meditation. They also got to do some art and crafts.

My brother and sister don't help they just pretend that none of this ever happened.

If I tell I'm scared they will stop me driving.

But it's getting worse.....

I hope you have a quiet night ahead.

Thanks for the support Jacques

Karen

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