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Desperate to find new meaning

Unknown userMember07 May 2017, 3:35 pm AEST

Desperate to find new meaning

Hello,

I visit the forum on and off. I am pretty bad with consistency in anything.

I don't even know where it starts and where it ends. All I know is that slowly but surely not only my past is being stripped away, but I am losing my identity in life. Soon without work, without the career I have worked my heart out for and a husband who is becoming more and more desperate because he doesn't understand me. I don't understand myself.

Will I ever heal? Will I ever understand what others are trying to teach me? Will I ever be able to live that way? Will I be able to change? Cope with the changes? Yeah, I'm strong and always have been, but I am so tired of life, so tired of fighting.

17 replies

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In response to: Desperate to find new meaning

Change123Senior Contributor10 May 2017, 10:03 am AEST

Re: Desperate to find new meaning

good morning @Former-Member

I'm sure you will get through the fog, thinking of you.

In response to: Desperate to find new meaning

utopiaSenior Contributor10 May 2017, 4:04 pm AEST

Re: Desperate to find new meaning

@Former-Member. Yes, you can keep safe. And I think it's important to have people around you who also have faith in your strength.
One day at a time, my friend. ♥♥

In response to: Desperate to find new meaning

Unknown userMember10 May 2017, 5:41 pm AEST

Re: Desperate to find new meaning

xox

In response to: Desperate to find new meaning

Unknown userMember11 May 2017, 2:44 pm AEST

Re: Desperate to find new meaning

Hi All

It seems like all I'm doing is waiting for each day to be over. Every night I go asleep and hope for my sparkle to be back.

How are you all keeping?

In response to: Re: Desperate to find new meaning

Change123Senior Contributor11 May 2017, 3:23 pm AEST

Re: Desperate to find new meaning

Hi@Former-Member

I'm doing well today, raging hormones have calmed down so BPD is better. Pissed off with work today as bosses are idiots so have been more on here today as a distraction and having fun on the " enjoying time together" forum.

I know that feeling though, when I'm not good I think of sleep as an escape and cant wait to go to bed and sleep but then when the sun comes up my anxiety starts thinking of what lays ahead.

Keep moving forward, you have come this far and you can keep going. You seem to be in a much better head space though which is great. I know its hard work and sometimes you feel like you want to have a " day off" and just crawl under a blanket so you dont have to deal with anyone and just be how you are feeling and thats ok too as long as its only for a day and then you need to start fighting again to move forward.

Have you tried looking in the " enjoying time with others" forum, its a great distraction where you can just talk about fun things and leave your MI behind. It helped me today when I was pissed off with bosses and turned to a thread about astronomy which I love, made me forget about them and not pissed off anymore plus I play music in my office depending on my mood to brighten my mood or calm it which ever it needs.

Take care

In response to: Desperate to find new meaning

Unknown userMember12 May 2017, 9:57 am AEST

Re: Desperate to find new meaning

Hello All

Hope you're doing ok!

@Change123 I remember the days I used to get pissed off at work - now I'd like hem to piss me off, but I'm off work. I saw your thread yesterday in the more relaxed area of the sane forum. I just don't feel like saying much.

I figured out yesterday that I'm sick of strolling through shopping malls. That's all I've been doing. Keeps my mind occupied and from time to time I get a smile from someone - mainly children.

So I'll have to spend today finding some other distracting (not necessarily meaningful) activity. Just to keep me going until things get better.

In response to: Re: Desperate to find new meaning

Change123Senior Contributor15 May 2017, 9:06 am AEST

Re: Desperate to find new meaning

Hi @Former-Member

I'm ok had a bit of bad weekend, bloody hormones nearly caused a fight at home but quickly realised and stopped my behaviour.

Your doing a fantastic job of distracting yourself, if you dont feel like saying much dont. Do what you feel is right for you.

I know its nice when someone acknowledges you with a smile doesnt matter who or why. Its weird isnt sometimes I have felt really low and thought thats how I was projecting myself to others but thats when I get people smile or say something nice .

Take care and keep up the good work.

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