My Hospital Stay

Hi @Autopia

It it is so far from good to be experiencing this repeatedly from a work related psycholocial injury. I have too. And yes I kept a hand written diary to at least disclose how horrific it was. In 2014 I took the workcover pathway, 7 people were bullied by the same person, at least I was not alone. Utopia, you have remarked about the farce of investigation - same experience as yours, although I am gald that somehow you made your claim work for you. From there on the abuse did not realistically let up. I was so unwell by 2016 I could not contend with the thought of returning to work after some leave.

I did the SI thing and got locked up in MH Acute, in total I was admitted for 10 days. I did not recieve any regular medications for this period, long term MD or AD treatment. There was nothing to do whatsoever, People were yelled at and had cigarettes/lighters confiscated in the courtyard due to the no smoking policy.

People were distressed, walking in circles and at times sexually and verbally inappropriate. The noise never stopped.

I begged and informed them I was fine - just in order to get out. I knew that I was extremely unwell, however I would be safer at home.

"Cos I had a plan. The same night as discharge - I did the best I could to not be around anymore - somehow my husband found me hours later - although the ambos said it was probably too late. I was down to a BP of 50 and an equally low temp. My husband described the house as "looking and smeling like an abortoir". And yet I am still here, although I still wish that I had made it happen.

Back I go, and am locked up again. At least this time I am fortunate I find a friend I can talk with and agree to have a nursing student assigned. She was lovely and after the initial gaurdeness, good to speak with.. And then.........2 people escaped by climbing over the walls with support. This resulted in the ultimate punishment - lockdown. No access to outside whatsoever, nothing offered internally whatsover either. If you want to go completely insane - an acute stay is obviously the best way to go. I had manged to negotiate some of my regular medication regime and they had added it to it.

I was so tired all of the time, in bed by 20.00 and no appetite at all. Finally they listened and I know that the costs are an influence. I was discharged with HITH care for 5 days. I just said what was required.

This is PH mental health acute services. Utterly ineffective, my SI continues, however I will never ever go back to what I have experienced.

Regards Bast

My goodness @Bast no words, that is just terrible how you were treated. I'm glad that you are still here, though i wish it were with less suffering still. Im glad that utopia has the opportunity to be in a safe place and wish that you had tis opportunity as well.

Hi @utopia,

thanks for letting us know you are there and you are safe. What a relief. I see your crying 'breakdowns' as a good thing, because you are releasing emotions and you are getting in touch with your sadness. You know how you feel; you are not numb.. it is like you are grieving.

I know it's difficult to think of crying as a good thing. We call it a 'breakdown' but really, that is not a good description. You are not really broken, but it's more that you are releasing built-up sorrow and tension.

I remember when I was severely depressed and I went off the medication that wasn't working- then, every day at around 3 pm I would just sob my heart out uncontrollably for about half an hour on the couch. I'm glad no-one saw me- I am a very private person.

Then when my Mum died, the same thing happened. I would just sob uncontallably on the couch, each day at around the same time. It was grief moving its way through my body and out into the open. It's good to get things out in the open where we can see what they really are. Then they are not quite so scary.

I'm glad that you have the nurses. It sounds like you have some good ones there. Let them comfort you. Don't feel ashamed of your tears. Tears are normal and healthy.

Thinking of you, @utopia.

@Bast,

sounds like there is a huge difference between a good private hospital and a bad public one. I feel for you, I really do. I don't have private health insurance, so if I ever end up in hospital with mental illness, then I would be in the same boat as you.... I would be admitted into the public system.

Well, all I can say is that it's a good deterrent to keep myself as healthy as possible, so I don't end up in there. Easier said than done, I know.

How are you doing now, @Bast?

Hi @Bast - I'm so sorry for what you went through and I'm glad you're still here. I guess that's the difference between voluntary patients in the private system and involuntary patients in the public system. I only have the basic private insurance and I still don't think it will get me into a private MH ward so I have a real fear of the public system - I don't know what workcover will provide me with and that's only if they accept my claim. With my doctors we are putting together all the workcover stuff and they have been very honest with me about what to expect which I appreciate. None of us go to work to get sick or hurt and it would be nice if they supported us when we did instead of taking the opposite approach.

hugs @utopia hope you a little better today

thinking of you

@utopia I haven't been keeping up with everyone (and have not read many posts while away) but I think I read somewhere that you were no doing well at all (I hope I remember that correctly).

Whatever 'place' you are in and whatever you are dealing with atm know that I am always thinking of you and always wanting all the very best for you. You are a shining light in my life - even through all the darkness - and I am so very privileged to have gotten to know you.

Every word of encouragement and support that you have given me over so many months have made so much difference in my life. I could never repay the friendship and love that you have shown me, all I can give to you in return is my heartfelt gratitude, love and wishes for a happy and fulfilling life in the future for you. You have been more than a friend to me, you have been a saviour.

When the light that shines on your path is one that you cannot see - you must trust that it is there - waiting for you to find it - and guide you through the darkness to a brighter future.

All my love always...

Zoe