who am i- may trigger

so ive been through some traumatic events and i feel it has changed me but in the process ive lost who i am and i dont know how to get 'me' back
im having alot of trouble moving forward and i dont even know where to start
ive been diagnosed with complex ptsd, health anxiety, social phobia, severe depressio and severe GAD as well

i was sexually abused when i was abit yonger and its still affecting me and i still ahve troubles coming to terms that it was my fault.
ive witnessed my youngest sister get attacked by a dog and i still blame myself for it
for both of events i still get flashbacks and visons of lookin ahead as well as alot of emotions around these mixed in with depression and the other anxieties as well

im a carer for my pop and also a primary carer for my two younger sisters and i also have another small paying job which is horse holiday care.
im also studyin as well and its coming to the end of it now as well.

i recently lost my nan and i was a carer for her as well before she passed and towards the end she was in a really bad way and these memories still haunt me

ive also got mild scoliosis and that is enough to cause pain, a few torn ligamanets that may never heal and if they do they will still casue me pain
i had a disk in my neck that is damaged from a horse fall and it casue s me pain and wont full heal but all i can do is continue pain management and treatment

i dont have any friends outside the forums and i dont have the support of my family either which makes me feel like a total dissapointment and a looser

not that long ago ive had to get glasses and also have to keep getting my eyes checked as they thought my retina was going so thats fun

i recently had to have pelvic and abdominal exams and ultrasounds as my gp thinks i have a condtion thats casuing lack of periods as i ahvent had them for almsot 2 months now and showing other symptoms as well and they wanted to do std testing from my past as well
im at my gp at least every week and this week alone ive gone 3 times already

i dont know who i am anymore, i dont know how to rediscover myself. i dotn know how to move forward and i dont know where to go from here