I don't feel like I'm living for anything

Hi Slinkums,

Welcome and thanks for joining the forum. I am sure you will find this a very safe and supportive place where you are able to share your feelings.

On reading your post I see on one hand a 20 year who is struggling with anxiety and depression, however I see on the other hand a person who has started a bachelors degree,seen his psych and got meds and has goals of financially supporting himself.

Writting things down can really reinforce the positive things that you have achieved in your life.Well done.

I hear that you would like to met new friends and have meaningful conversations with them.I know of people who have taking up a hobby,joined a club or learnt a new skill. This has got them out meeting like minded people and given them something interesting to talk about.

Is there anything you would like to try?

I am sure there are people on the forum who could give you more ideas..

Take care and keep posting. Mojo.

Hi @Slinkums

Glad to see you here. Sounds like you are really feeling lonely? Its so hard to be donig things like uni, working your butt off and feeling like why/whats the point? I question what the heck life is really all about, whats it all for?? etc and they're really big, sometimes overwhelming questions. Sometimes i try and break things down a bit (when im feeling stronger and able) and try to focus on what do i want to be doing in 6 months/ 2 months, then figure out some steps that are going to get me there. Its something that i initially started doing in my profession as a development tool, but realised that i could also use it in my general life to help guide me. At times my ptsd is so bad tht imagining any future is really difficult. but there are lighter times.

@SimpleAsThis I like your idea of volunteering! I dont know if this would interst you at all sinkums but might be a nice way to get out and meet new people. Someone i know has just started running a minecraft club at the local library once a week for kids and older kids. Maybe there is someway that you could volunteer somewhere following your own interests? or start doing something completely new.

Hope that helps, and if not, ignore all 😄 😄

LJ

Hi @Slinkums

welcome to the forums, there are a heap of members here who i think know where you are coming from regarding what you are going through currently, I see that you've already gotten help from your gp and psychologist which is great you have made sometimes the hardest step.

what you will find is the meds are not a quick fix, they may take quite some time for you to see any beneficial results there, also with your psychologist you will be able to discuss ways to help improve your bodies reaction to stresser's which in turn cause anxiety.

In regards to wanting to meet people and make friends, i think the easiest way is to try and start close to home, so to speak, your currently doing a bachellor's, so i take it you have classes etc, perhaps trying to broach part of the subject matter with someone might help, i'm not saying do it tomorrow, but maybe work up to it a little bit at a time, make some eye contact, nod the head type acknowledgement per say.

I know of friends of mine who have made friends by going to musuems or similar and just striking up a conversation, i am 32 now, and when i was your age, i had my friends from high school, still hanging around. However i did make a few new friends back then through work related people, also at a cafe i frequented quite a few times, a couple of regulars and myself hit it off and became reasonable friends.

It is not easy to step out of the comfort zone, but maybe a couple of these things may help?

again welcome to the forums

Thanks for the welcomes everyone.

Volunteering as @SimpleAsThis suggested is something I have thought about doing, but I worry i may not have the energy do to it simultaneously along with uni. I consider doing it in between semesters but worry about finding something that I would be able to keep up with; I guess this is something I won't really know about until I try though.

@kato unfortunately talking with my peers is something I usually avoid doing. I'm basically perpetually behind on work so often when I talk to people they try discussing recent topics and work with me that I simply have not caught up with yet, so I never have anything meaningful to contribute. There was a few people I got talking to who invited me to study with them after a lab, and while it went alright, I was too awkard and uncomfortable to be able to really talk to them beyond that.

These days I feel a certain fatigue around making new friends. I used to frequent various online communities and have made a few online friends from those, but recently when I have tried similar things i get a sense of almost disillusionment. I guess I'm waiting on finding some sort of bff but each time i get talking to someone and we come across some insurmountable difference of opinion or just lose inertia in out relationship i get this feeling of apathy, like maybe I've met all the different kinds of people already and theres no point meeting new people when I'll just find more of the same.