Bipolar

Hi everyone, I'm new to forums, I have spent most of the past few years on my own, with my 2 children. I'm a single parent, who has come from a difficult background as well. Il tell u guys my story... my parents divorced when I was 3 at the time and I have 3 siblings. My mother sent 2 of us to live with my father, I was the only girl apart from my mother. My father was an abusive man. He moved with myself and my brother to another state. The abuse continued, however the physical abuse wasn't the only kind of abuse, he neglected to buy us food and cloths so I was always in either what I had or cloths that were given to me by a couple of friends that I made. The little bit of food he would buy would be a constant fight btw my brother and I. We moved from school to school to school and from home to home this was a regular thing for him, now as an adult I can only assume that he did this as teachers along with neighbors would talk to him about how we were dressed or the fact that we had no lunch. This went on for years, eventually my brother was put into a home and I was left with him. I learnt nothing in school, I lost all my education thanks to him. By the time I got to high school I had no basic understanding of any of the subjects, I was moved so frequently the other half of the time either forced to work with him or just not put into a school. I'm grateful that at the very least I can write and read. A few years after my brother was removed I was also raped at the age of 12. After all the trauma that I had already experienced by the time I was 13 I rebelled. To much hatred and anger that I was raised in. That's what he taught us, to hate and to fear. At 13 due to my rebellious nature I just couldn't handle any more abuse he hasomething I will never forget!. Following that last beating I new that if I didnt leave that almost guaranteed he would well you can imagine what was running through my mind for the next time. So I ran away. I went to my friends house, the police turned up they were satisfied that I feared for my life and advised me that I needed to contact human services otherwise I would be placed back onto the missing person list and possibly sent back to my father. So I contacted them went in to see them they contacted my mother and asked her if she would be willing to take me to her house to her response " I have to ask my boyfriend".... point of the story is I haven't had family support, group support, or any kind of assistance with all that has happened you can all imagine that my story doesn't end there with the response from my so called mother. I struggle daily, I have been in some form of abusive relationships all the way through my life I am now 38 turning 39 this month. I have been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder I have also tried my hardest to get some sort of stability in my life, I have also been miss diagnosed for the past 6 years prior to that I didn't allow any emotion or stresses to effect me to the degree that they do now. I struggled holding any kind of position I was always jumping from job to job, now my concentration levels and memory loss don't even allow me to get that far. I struggle in putting food on the table for my 2 children, my income is only what Centrelink gives and even that is a battle in itself I should be on disability but their rules don't apply to everything, so I also have the stress of having to look for work when I'm not even stable enough to have a normal life( sorry my venting) I guess what I'm trying to say to you guys is 1. Be strong. 2. Don't give up. 3. Always remember that there is always someone worse off than what we all are. I'm barely coping and that is the honest truth but I have to remember to be humble and strong. Try not to make matters worse for my self I beat up myself all the time, I never thought I would find myself in this situation with my children but I must move forward. I hope that my story may help some of you guys out there, believe it or not I had only touched on the full story, I don't finish it as I thought it may be too long for you all to read. Thank you for listening guys😉