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Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

NikNikSenior Contributor

Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Welcome to Topic Tuesday. During this session we will be discussing caring for the women in our lives: Our daughters, sisters, partner, mothers and friends.

We've talked in the past about how to be an effective carer and how to look after yourself while in that role. This time we'd like to focus on the impact of being a carer has on your relationship and how to protect it.

We will be looking at issues like:

  • How the carer role has changed your relationship
  • Finding a balance between being a carer while maintaining the relationship as a parent /partner / brother / sister / friend
  • Ways you've found to step out of the carer role and 'just' be Mum, sister, partner etc

Join us from 7pm AEST to share your own experiences, ask questions and chat to others who are in a similar situation.

Two things you can do now

1) Hit the 'Like' button below to get an email reminder on the night

2) Read our blog on 'Protecting a relationship when caring for someone'

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Littletink_Senior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Yes I agree with you @Shaz51

We are barely ever apart but we are very close and don't seem to ever get to a point where we do need space from each other so we do okay

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Unknown userMember

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

The other analogy that I think is important to remember is that we're not too disimilar to cars. If you don't refill and service the car in your driveway then it's not going very far.

Likewise, if we don't allow ourselves to be refueled - whether that's ten minutes peace in the sunshine, a quick beer with a friend, or time zoning out on the computer - we don't have the energy or patience for our carer roles. We just run dry and that's not good for anyone.

So @Littletink_, @Determined, @Determined and @Shaz51 - what do you do to refuel?

Because looking after your relationship can't really be done if none of your own needs are being met.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

The trouble for me @Former-Member is that when I emotionally disconnect, usually out of self preservation, it really sends my darling into a spin because she thinks I am giving up in her. One of her biggest issues is fear of abandonment, when she thinks I am giving up she cant cope.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

We are barely ever apart but we are very close and don't seem to ever get to a point where we do need space from each other so we do okay ------- I am the same here @Littletink_

I find doing the little self care , like have a cuppa on the front step or sitting down together and watching movies or shows we tape

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

also I play word games on the computer ,

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

I had someone ask me that only this morning @Former-Member. Unfortunately I dont get too many opportunities to refuel and it shows. People are more often seeeing through the fake smile of late. I have used the analogy that my tank has beed running dry for so long the bottom has burned out, no matter what Indo to top it up now it all seems to run straight back out again .

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Littletink_Senior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

@Former-Member @Shaz51 sometimes I watch my favourite TV Series or read/write or listen to music but other than that not much else. There have been a few times as of late where I have been a bit burnt out but I've gotten back on my feet somehow. As long as she's doing okay then I'm doing okay.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

I know what you mean @Determined , I find getting the right balance is very hard @Littletink_, @Jacques, @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Unknown userMember

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

It's about the sustainability of your situation @Determined and @Littletink_.

Determined, you have clearly found a way to keep pushing beyond the empty tank but I wonder what the cost is? We can definitely get to a point where those small guestures of giving back to ourselves no longer cut it. Things have gone too far and our resilience has been used up.

It's at that point that the load needs to be shared. Well, ideally before then, but at this point there's not much choice before the consequences for your own health become too great.

You gave some really great advice to Littletink about getting help Determined. Do you have a chance to draw on that in your own life too?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

I think myself i am finding the little things of self care is best for me , like when mr shaz is unwell and gone to bed to do something then @Littletink_, @Determined

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