Topic Tuesday // Your role in creating community for LGBTI people // 23 May

@BeHappy Sometimes because LGBTI people - and especially Transgender people - can experience so much rejection, exclusion, prejudice, stigma and discriminaation - we sometimes expect that we are going to encounter this even when we aren't. So it can sometimes feel easier to hold people at a arms lenght, and maybe even reject them before they have the chance to reject us - becuase the feeling of rejection is just too much to bare.

They also may worry that you just dont understnad

I think it is great that you are learning - venturing out to gather information so that you can be good friend.

I don't get out much generally, which doesn't help. I went to a rally for Safe Schools and marriage equality. And last year there was a vigil at the uni in honour of the victims of the Orlando shooting.

If I was a uni student it might be easier, but I have a degree, I'm middle-aged, and on disability pension - can't afford to study at uni noe.

@BeHappy

Supporting someone to come out can be hard. Be gentle with them, and give them the space they need, but let them know that you are there to support them, and that you are doing things to learn more about what things they may be experiencing. I find YouTube can be a great place to do this! There are so many people on htere sharing their transistion stories. Trnasition isn't an easy experience.

Reach out gently, and keep reminding them that you are there for them - in whatever way that they need.

Though also - I have had the expereince of when people come out that they may distance themselves from people who aren't LGBTI ... this might be becasue of fears of rejection - but also because they are putting engery into finding their own LGBTI community with other gay and trans people.

Dont take this personally - it is just a part of the coming out journey!

Thanks @Sally_Morris, that's really great advice, and it gives me some insight into understanding what they might be going through.

@greenspaceThat is great that you were able to venture out to those events - sometimes even thgouth there may be a large volume of LGBTI people - it can be hard to make some more individaul intimate connections in these spaces - especailly if you are shy, intraverted, or have social anxiety....

as @Queenie suggested, online spaces can be a good avenue to find people locally and to have a more direct connection with individual people rather than a big crowd. These online spaces then can move to more in person interactions

@Sally_Morris do you have any online resourses that you could direct @BeHappy to?

That is good you were able to go to those rallies @greenspace, it does sound difficult though if you find that being at uni more helpful and now you can't afford to study.

Have you tried any online supports available for LGBTI communities yet @greenspace?

@greenspace I also find that in most places that there are small, unfunded, volunteer run LGBTI social groups that usually aren't well promoted - so they can take a bit of digging to find!!

I try to do a really broad word search on facebook and google - like 'gay Toowoomba' to see what may come up - and try all different types of words and acronyms - even if these aren't ones that you may usually use. Put on your detective hat!

QLife which is the LGBTI telephone counselling service has a great database where groups may be listed

QLife

Phone and online chat

3pm to midnight

1800 184 528

www.qlife.org.au

Oh yes!

@BeHappy I would suggest The Sydney Gender Centre who have a lot of online resources, as well as Minus18 and YGender - who even though are targeted towards young people, have some really great accessible information

https://minus18.org.au/

https://ygender.org.au/

https://gendercentre.org.au/

It seems like many have experienced being invalidated when family, friends or strangers have used inappropriate terms.

I am interested to know what are the harmful impacts on people who experience misgendering and discrimination @Sally_Morris ?