Topic Tuesday // Your role in creating community for LGBTI people // 23 May

@Sally_Morris

What do you do if you find that you've used the 'wrong' language?

I am always really curious as to how people have ventured out into the world to find their community when they havent been able to find this through their families - and what it was like for people when they find their community. For me it was both an equally scary and exciting moment!

It does really seem like acceptance is key in feeling like you are a part of a community, I like that you are able to choose your community but also see how that can be very challenging. @Sally_Morris @Queenie

Hi for me, I linked in with members of the LGBTIQA community through meet ups and community programs in my state. I discovered there was a large community (and I am not just meaning hook-ups here) of individuals who were willing to support me and encourage me to discover my authentic self. For many years I was living unhappily in a heterosexual marriage. However I was always more attracted to females than males. When my marriage ended, I formally 'came out'. The support I received from the LGBTIQA community was invaluable.

For me - if its language that I am not familar with or comfortable using myself - I avoid using this all together. I also like to ask people what langage they perfer to be used - especailly if I am unsure! And if i make a mistake (and I do!!) I try to catch myself as soon as possible, acknowledge my mistake, and correct myself. I might do this if I use the wrong pronouns when I am talking about a person - it is really easy to make a mistake - so dont be too hard on yourself!

It is best to completely avoid words that are obviously offensive

This is a great discussion.

Can someone explain to me what CIS means @Sally_Morris?

I have a friend, who I care about a lot. He was Jake, but now she is Jane. I don't care regardless, and I accept her no matter what. But I'm feeling like not sure what to say around her.

That is really wonderful to hear! Not all people have this experience of finding their community when they go looking for it - there are many things that can get in the way - like living in a rural and regional area where there may be less visible LGBTI people and less spaces where LGBTI people feel safe to gather in public.

Hello @BeHappy thank you for joining us tonight, that is a really good question. @Sally_Morris are there certain things that @BeHappy could do to make their friend Jane feel supported right now?

@BeHappy Im glad you asked!!

Cis is a short word for Cisgender - which essentailly means that the gender that you are (ie male or female) matches what your body looks like. So you have a female body and a female gender - or a Male body and a male gender

Cisgender is a newer term, and has emerged to be the 'opposite' of Transgender - which means that your gender is different to your body.

its jsut a word that is easier to use than describing somone as not being transgender. So we have Transgender and the oppositie Cisgender

@BeHappy

It sounds like your friend is Transgender - though they may not identify with that word!

Here is some more information (that I put together earlier) about gender and transgender

Gender identity is a part of a persons personal and social identity, and refers to the way a person feels, presents and is recognised in the community as female and/or male.

Transgender and Trans are terms used to describe an individual whose gender identity does not align with the sex they were assigned at birth based on what their body looks like on the outside.

Gender identities are formed at an early age and are affected by many different factors, including what society values as the role and identity of being a male or female.

Many trans people will make changes to their body to better reflect their gender, and to be seen to the world as who they are. This might be achieved through medical treatment with hormones and surgery.

Some trans people will identify as male or female, but it is important to note that many people consider their gender identity to fall outside of the traditional (and limited) woman to man spectrum and may use other language to describe their gender.

People from Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities have specific unique cultural experiences of gender, and use the terms Sistergirl and Brotherboy to describe this diversity of gender.

Many societies from around the world have more than two traditional genders, and will use culturally specific language to refer to this diversity of gender (e.g. Hijras of India, Khawaja sara of Pakistan, Fa’afafine of Polynesia, Kathoeys or ‘Ladyboys’ of Thailand, Two-Spirit people of North America Indigenous people)

Gender is independent of sexuality and so trans people may also identify as heterosexual, gay, bisexual,

People may use other words to describe their gender identify and experience of their gender, such as Gender Queer, Bi-Gendered, Agender, Gender Diverse,