POSTING ACHIEVEMENTS IS THAT A FORM OF ATTENTION SEEKING?

Hi 🙂

Personally, I think there is nothing wrong in posting achievements unless your motive is to brag in order to regard yourself high from the others..But if posting such is for self-esteem and to be an inspiration it is not regarded as seeking attention.

And congratulations on your achievements - hope these will help motivate others too 😄

hello @Change123 @AshEasy

short answer: definitely not

possibility: the idea is new to you, putting it into action stirs up old patterned thinking

how do i know this: i am hopeless at accepting compliments.... stirs up old patterned thinking

solution: please keep doing it so that perhaps others like myself can start

negative reactions: smile quietly to yourself

Thanks @AshEasy @Former-Member

@Former-Member I think you are right, my partner always says that he hates giving me compliments as I dont take them well and I will make a joke of it - trying hard now to accept compliments from people by just saying "thank you" but yes this is probably where it comes from - I still struggle with this concept and also justifying myself which probably in a way go hand in hand (no self esteem constant justification). mmm have to do something about that!

@AshEasy thanks for your response and just wanted to ensure you realised that in no way do I think I'm better than others, I know you are not telling me that but just needed to say that. mmmm I'm justifying myself again arent I?

I think this will be my next mission, stop justifying myself to everyone!

Hi @Change123, please share with us your good news as well as the bad! In my view, there would be something terribly wrong if we felt we were only able to share the bad news here. As for whether it is 'attention seeking', well I suppose anything we write on the forum has an aspect of that to it, whether good or bad. We are seeking attention for needed help in one instance, for celebration with friends in the other. I don't think we should get too troubled about that. People need to give each other attention for things, that's the nature of life it seems to me. Otherwise we would all have taken a vow of silence. Looking forward to hearing what your good news or achievements might be!

I agree with all the previous posts @Change123 and think it is a great point to raise. In a piano teaching seminar, we discussed these issues and the Aussie cultural tendency to downplay and/or cut down achievements... the so called cultural cringe. In dealing with kids it was obvious that to focus on achievements was a positive and the same does work with adults.

Usually with me it was not about getting attention or a compliment, it was a focus on the positive. There was plenty obvious to complain about.

It is about context... speech acts .. and I guess posts are made in social situations.

I grew up in a housing estate and was told off by "peers" that I bragged so I stopped for a while, but it usually came from those who just wanted to get drunk, so I quietly moved on in my own way and left all that behind.

I just wanted decent conversations. It can open up things and we can listen to the others achievements, discuss difficulties and obstacles and relative merits of things. It is human to discuss. A lot depends on the person listening.

I might think I have achieved something and then be told a competitive story cos the other had sung in Covent Garden. Which I thought was great as I felt lucky to have stumbled upon a person with such a superb experience, but they were really arrogant about it, in the end I felt sorry for limited approach and world view and current life situation.

I was so glad I took my kids to Little Athletics and learned about PB personal bests and tried to apply that to me as well.

If we use achievements as point scoring, a block or defence ALL the time it is a problem.

Often we can open a statement with an achievement and taper it off with a question or invitation to the other, which is how you presented this thread.

I have had a lot of great conversations with others in similar employment, where it is all part of a mixed bag of LIFE.

By the time we get long in tooth compliments are a bit basic if that is all that is exchanged. I usually try for a more full bodied response, if you get what I mean... a discussion .. perhaps that is my attention seeking... but we all need a little face to face ...

Hi @Change123,

I think your perspective re focussing on the positive things in your life, such as achievments, is great 🙂 If you are interested in reading about that sort of approach you may like to check out 'strengths based approach' and/or 'positive psychology' on google 😉

...and I personally believe there is nothing wrong with looking for positive attention; it makes us happy, feel good, gives us confidence, any many other awesome benefits 🙂 just imagine if the whole world gave each other positive attention...in my books, that definitely would not be a bad thing 🙂

...re "learning that you dont need praise for the things you do right"...well, you can still learn that if you want to, but this doesnt mean you would have to stop recognising and celebrating your achievements with yourself and people 🙂

Thanks @Appleblossom@NotLabelDefined

Appreciate your thoughts.

I guess I'm just trying to be really honest with myself and probably questioning myself about too many things.