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im back..... i think

im back..... i think

hi @Former-Member @Determined @Anony18 @soul @Faith-and-Hope

i was lil-caterpillar

im back... i think...

im treading very very lightliy at the moment

@Anony18 i also seen those pics you posted from your hike. they were beautiful and also the artworks too thank you for thinking of me

F&H - i also read on my depression thread as well. thank you for careing even though i left

1577 replies

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In response to: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

Ok deal @outlander

Our damn heads. Wrecking Sh!t for us all the time. Yes I feel even though we're 10 years apart we have stuff in common, especially that we aren't married and don't have kids etc. I feel very in limbo in my life right now. Like I'm not a kid anymore but I'm not a proper adult because I don't have a family of my own. All my friends have grown up and moved on without me, gotten married and had kids. And I'm the last one left. The one nobody wants. Mr Nooks is there yes but he hasn't made any moves to pop the question so I can't help but feel not good enough... and now I've pulled all this anxiety OCD and depression $h!t on him I probably don't have a hope in hell

In response to: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

@outlander@Former-Member

That's good that you have a no alcohol and no SH policy - esp when having flat-as-a-pancake time

But do this for yourselves - you will appreciate you efforts - I will - I am sure other people will

wtg girls - hook up and chat away - it's great you are about the same age - I like that

Dec

In response to: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

Thanks for the support @Owlunar

Sorry @outlander to crash your thread with such a lame whinge especially when you aren't feeling good yourself, last thing you need. Maybe we should talk about something else. Like..... ? I don't know.... suggestions @Owlunar ?

In response to: Re: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

Excuse me @Former-Member
your not allowed to apologise and I dont mind you ahveing a rant not one bit! And besides its my thread I say whats alloowes and guess what its allowed 😉 and tbh I like helping people solve their problems and lettignt hem rant even. It takes away my thoguhts to help problem solve
yep im not married- not even dating, I dont have kids- well not that im aware of lol only my sisters who are almost mine! I feel very much in limbo as well. I dotn know what I should eb doing or where I dhould eb going- execpt for getting help
he loves you im sure of it- you dont have to be married to love each other


yes I most certainly agree even thoguh we are a few yers apart we still have a lot in common- there you go theres something else to talk about- our common traits

hello my second mum @Owlunar i love you lots too

In response to: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

YOUR NOT A LOSER! @Former-Member your extremely far from it. He might be waiting for the right time too. He might want to get through this crap and then your able to both start fresh.... just a thought.

Ahh yes the dreaded health anxiety. Its really horrible. And yes it sounds like what i have. Mine is to the extent that i stay up and make sure my sisters are breathing and ehen they are sick god help us all!
Yep my brain jumps to the worst case scenario all the time to do with health

In response to: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

I swear we are our own worst enemies @outlander. I've been playing through my mind how I will tell my two friends I have a brain tumor and even think although I'm not actively thinking I want to end my life, if it were to end accidently like on the operating table it wouldn't be so bad.

I tell you one thing we don't have in common? Our fears of going to hospital - you are worried about proper adult things like your responsibilities you will be leaving behind. Me? Literally the only thing I'm worried about is drinking out of their cups!!! God even saying it sounds so silly! One of my weird things is a just can't bring myself to drink out of a cup that isn't mine (and even then I would prefer a water bottle). I'm not scared of germs from anything else really, I'm not even scared about the cups, it just makes me feel so physically sick that I almost gag thinking about drinking out of a dirty cup!! At least I can laugh at myself right?

And thanks for thinking I'm not a loser @outlander

In response to: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

Yes @Former-Member we are certainly our own worst enemies. You should use your coping strategies when those thoughts pop in there. Use your sensible mind to suppress those fears. Easier said than done i know.
Im.not scared to go really. If i was certain my responsibilities wouldn't go to my midfle sister. I doubt it but theres thst chance. And the judgement id killing me. Being called a psychopath by my own mother after reaching out isnt quite what id expected. I knew the convo wasnt going to go well but for her to say that well now its just anothet ball game.
The cups thing dont stress too much about. If your too worried take a water bottle with you. But those cups are sterilised as well

And i most certsinly dont think your a looser. Your soo far from that. Your a kind sweet caring person who doesnt have looser in there nature ❣❣

In response to: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

They aren't sterilised and you can't bring your own food or drink that's what's worrying me @outlander

Anyway I can't go til 24th July so no point worrying now. I'm hoping I'll be feeling better by then.

My mum says to me there's nothing wrong with me and I don't need hospital. There's another difference! Or maybe a similarity - our mums don't get it

In response to: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

Hugs my special friend @Former-Member
Your right no use worrying right now
Worry about today not a months time ❣❣
Youll be ok

Yep our mothers just dont get it and im a psychopath to her so yep we both have mothers who dont get it

In response to: im back..... i think

Re: im back..... i think

Another similarity - You love horses and I have a dog that's a size of a horse @outlander
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