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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
Yes, been laying off alcohol recently and all random memories over most of adult life coming back end to end .. hmm ...prob reason why I try to block things out. Not fun. But some old dreams revisited when went into sleep mode last couple days. Just silly. Couldn't sleep a week ago now last 2 days not tired but when noticed feeling relaxed just thought stuff it and went to bed. And deep sleep. And couple times got up for a bit and asked self what I needed and just went and did it again lol .. I did find one dream I liked from past tho.. just walking for hours down a creek bed on my own, and liking it when brain remembered things, like, oh, that bit is coming up next..
In response to: I'm in a nest
TABSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Yes re old days @Former-Member .. rather be in pre 80s world, well ok pre 70s lol even primary school was more negative than positive come to think of it lol ok outside school had its moments, well best ones usually on own, ok except birthdays, Christmas lol
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
I have had a few dreams lately too re memories I’d rather forget. Very rarely a good one.
I Used to play by a creek with the boys next door or build tree houses. Play cowboys and Indians 😂 Skippy with girls, swap cards. Elastics. Ice skating. Lots of fun until high school 😳 Won’t go there tonight. Took a med just then. Sleepy already. They work fast. Sleep time for me @TAB Night night. 😴😸 sleep well
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Good on you re having a break from alcohol @TAB Good to have a break. Thankfully I haven’t touched it for a while. Liver etc was very bad years ago. Doctor said I wouldn’t be around much longer if i didn’t stop. Rarely touch it now. It was a med I was taking at the time that caused the cravings. I might have told you already. Stopped the meds then no more alcohol cravings. Glad I worked that out myself or I probably wouldn’t be here today. Although some days I’d rather not be here, lol. Ok no more raving.
Can chat more about good memories another time. 😊
In response to: I'm in a nest
TABSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Ok, understand @Former-Member hope you sleep well 😴 ha yeah I had to go to big city for procedure at hosp when very young.. I insisted on taking cowboy or 'cowdy' suit mum made for me. It stayed in cupboard the whole time lol
In response to: I'm in a nest
TABSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Not raving, and yes I do remember now that you mention it Fru SchwederIn 😸 hope you sleep well @Former-Member😀
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
That’s sweet that your mum made you a cowboy suit @TAB🤠. I had a cowgirl skirt and vest with tassels on them. 🕵️♀️ Feels like I’ve been hit by a bus 🚌 Strong German coffee here ☕️ Herr 😸
I guess you might be still feeling sore and fatigued @CheerBear Another rest day, maybe? 💜☕️
In response to: I'm in a nest
TABSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Yes, mine had tassels too @Former-Member .. um starke deutsche Kaffe? Sorry re Bus, Fru Bella, well at least its Höst 😸 oder Herbst auf Deutsch 😀 am going lie down, back later
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @Former-Member ☺ Hi @TAB.
Busy morning this morning here Bella but hopefully I can take it a bit easier until pick up now. What are you up to? Hope the coffee is good (is coffee ever not-good?!) ❤🍰☕
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hello @CheerBear {I don't know if it's still morning where you are ;)}
My Goodness your busy already!?! Maybe it'll take your mind off other things I might just fluff up those super soft pillows for when you return 🙂
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