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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Popping in early (had to answer door for DBT book delivery - and waiting on a dryer delivery too) to spread rainbows around for @CheerBear

You got this!

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

*sneaks a cup of tea and a couple of garlic buttered rolls into the nest - on a covered plate of course*

Whispers "YOU GOT THIS CheerBear"

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear,

I figure you will sneak in here at some point. I have been thinking about you a super lot today and wondering how you have been getting along. I imagine things might be really difficult right now. They won't always be. Today is nearly done. You were so amazingly brave today. You've totally got this! You're awesome.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thank you @Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member. I've not long gotten to the ward after a very long day. Thank you for saying I was brave. I had a little turtle on me that saw all of what went down today and all of the very not brave looking moments.

Im now mega medded up out on things that make me go lala because of the pain (which was very big and is still big but better). I'm so sad right now and feeling very alone. I want to be home and home feels like it's the moon far away. I have rainbow legs though and my Pokey unicorn is here. But this really sucks and my everythings hurt tonight 😞

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear sorry to hear you are in so much pain, really does suck. Hope it is for the better ❣

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

hi @CheerBear im abit out of touch here so im not sure what the surgury is/was for (you dont have to tell me either) but sending my best wishes and a speedy recovery to you too

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest


@CheerBearwrote:
I had a little turtle on me that saw all of what went down today.

@CheerBear well...the little turtle didn't see QUITE everything...cos it closed its eyes during the icky bits - a Carebear has to have some privacy you know.

However, the little turtle definitely was there throughout it all and definitely saw the very very VERY big brave that you had on! This little turtle knows that sometimes super big brave can look like not brave, but that's only to people who don't know what true bravery looks like.

The little turtle will be there all through the night and through tomorrow and the next day, and the next. I can hear how super alone you feel right now. But look, Pokey and the little turtle are right there.

It sounds like you are about to disappear into lala land with the mega meds, but if you want to, we can listen to a story together-but-not if you want. You can choose which one.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sending comfort and support to you, @CheerBear. If the pain is too much, maybe you might ask a nurse for some extra pain relief? Whatever you decide on that, I hope you get some okay rest tonight. Thinking of you with love and care.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Im so lala landing but thank you Snowie Outlander Mazarita and Phoenix_Rising. It helps to see people here.

@Mazarita they called the anaesthetist (I don't know how to spell that) and am pretty maxed right now but they wrote up some more if I needed for later which I will if I need.

I would l0ve a story @Phoenix_Rising. Can you please choose one and I'll listen while I disappear into lala land?

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

and becasue you like glittery things

@CheerBear

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