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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

You're welcome to join in the conversation any time @Former-Member 😊
Good idea re a group to learn to crochet.
The community centre here has a craft group and a crochet/knitting group.
I haven't felt well enough to ring and enquire more about it.
Perhaps after the school holidays ,I'll feel up to it.


I went to a craft group last night @@CheerBear
Always feel knocked out after socialising in the evenings. Was fun though. 2 people from a TV show were there and I won a prize 😀
Girly things, cleanser, moisturiser etc.........
I've noticed lately that I have lost alot of hair, due to stress. Thankfully the bald patches aren't noticeable to others. 😮😨
I'm trying to wash my hair every 2nd day, instead of every day. Too fussy. 😂

D has a group of friends coming over later. Been busy tidying up etc.
Last time there were 13 of them. Might be more this time 😮
I'm so glad they enjoy coming here.
Big block of land comes in handy for bon fires. 😀
Need a portable loo out the back. 😂
It's good to have some life at our house again.

How's your day been?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear
Re above message 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member - great to hear from you 😊

A community crafty group sounds like a great idea when you're up for it. I joined one this term and really like going along. I'm really impressed to hear you went out to a craft group last night! Are you able to say what crafty thing?

Lol re the hair. Sounds like we have very different hair needs with washing it! My hair hates being 'clean'. If it gets silky or smooth it doesn't work, so I have to use a special shampoo that cleans it but keeps it kind of wirey and rough. This works with stress at least haha. Sorry to hear about the bald patches, that does suck.

Hope you and D have a good night! Busy happy house gathering sounds like a good Friday night 🙂

My day has been really good thanks. I had a quiet morning and then a really good appointment with my psych. Psych asked what might be different today as I seemed less 'combative' 😮😂 I said that perhaps it had something to do with feeling a little more understood, heard and on the same page after our last appointment 😉 Family movie night tonight - one of my faves is going on after fish and chips.

😘💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Fires going, candles are lit, looks good out there. I put some fairy lights in the tree too. 😊
People turning up and I'm going to try and relax on couch. Hmm! Dinner, I guess I'd better see what there is. 😀
What movie are you watching? @CheerBear

School holidays have begun here. Have they started in your state?

The craft thingy was, make lots of things 😂
Candle thingy, blackboard thingy, cheese board etc.........

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

That's sounds so cool @Former-Member! Your D is lucky you're so encouraging of her friends. One week until holidays here. Can't believe it's almost term 4.

At the moment School of Rock is on and when it finishes it's Labyrinth. It's really cold tonight and the heater had a really funny strong fire burny smell coming from it (which the LF also thought was not ok). It means it's had to go off which means it's blankets, dressing gowns, thick socks and hoping we get a house asap because I'm not asking for someone to look at it, and I can't have it on like that. So annoying.

Your crafty thingy and making lots of thing things sounds heaps of fun 😄 Is it a regular thing?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

It's amazing how chilly it is. @CheerBear
I'm not complaining though. Summer is too long and hot here.
That's a bummer about your heater. Yes, I hope you get another house very soon.
I just out my snuggle gown on top of clothes. 😊
Craft thingy isn't a regular thing, but I hope to get to the community centre groups next term. I really need a "life".
Yes, term 4 soon. 😮
D and friends are already excited about end of year, end of school forever. I'm excited for them, but teary too. Can't wait until formal in November. Then school ends. 😮😀 Wow!

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

That's a massive milestone for both D and you @Former-Member! How exciting (and scary, and emotional, and all kinds of things!). I remember that excitement once it got this close!

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

A quick good morning in the nest before we start adventure Saturday here.

No heater and it's so, so, so cold, but I am feeling ok about it which is a huge improvement considering house maintenance stuff is right up there on my 'potential to cause a big crash' list, and has been behind massive fall downs this year. I am holding on to hope that it won't be long now and this will be behind me. One way or another, it will be over soon. I've done this for most of the year, I can do it for a couple more months if I need. (The giant electricity bill I got yesterday may be softening the blow of the heater loss too maybe 😉 )

@Former-Member- hope D and her friends had a good night last night and there's not too much cleaning up to do this morning. Happy holidays to you both!

@Phoenix_Rising- sorry I missed climbing pyramids with you. I think I was in a sugar coma in Cairo. With all the delicious goodies there, I'm proud I was able to leave and find my way home at all. About 65 million times yesterday I wanted to post to you and ask your thoughts and share mine about the DBT adventure. I'm looking forward to your marking gig being finished 😄 Good luck with it.

@Former-Member- I hope your day is better today. Please give kitten a pat for me 💗🐱

Hi to Mazarita, Teej, Faith-and-Hope, Pepsimax, Lisajane (is it school holidays for you now?), eth, Shaz51 and anyone else who might be reading. Hope theres good in today for you 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Happy adventures to you @CheerBear 💟
Party went well.
Had huge argument with D around midnight, feeling the affects of that today.




Hi everyone 💜

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

5-HT pats kitten as instructed......
feels a little bit better. 😊

Hope your day goes okay @CheerBear!
Hi @Bella2, @Phoenix_Rising, @Teej, and whoever else is snuggling in the nest right now.
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