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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
You make me smile often @Appleblossom, thank you 💛
In response to: I'm in a nest
TheVorticonSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I'm glad your appointment turned out so positively @CheerBear. It sounds like you did a great job of advocating for yourself and it's great that you had your pocket support squad with you. Hope you have a relaxing weekend.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thank you @TheVorticon🙂
I have been thinking of you quite a bit, reading along but not talking on your talking about not talking thread. Today I saw an enormous rainbow in the miserably freezing weather and "mmm caramel" was my first though, which made me laugh.
Nice to 'see' you thevorticon and hope your weekend is good 🙂
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Apparently the meds contribute to all my hot air!!
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Sorry I haven't chatted. Been so super uptight and sad. 😮😣😨😢 Trouble has been hanging around too. Love to all. 💜💗💟💕
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member that doesn't sound good at all 😞 Love to you. Wish there was something to say to make it better. Here if you want to share or not share.
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning, @CheerBear. Just woke up for second thime overnight and saw you were here too, on the early shift. Smooth sailing this day for you.
Hi everyone, hope it's a good one for us all.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Good morning @Mazarita😊 I went to sleep really early and stayed there all night so my early rise this morning is probably from a long deep sleep. Big fan of that!
We've got our Saturday adventures on today and then something fun tonight, so it should be a good day.
Have you got anything on today? Hope today is good for you also Mazarita 💗
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks, @CheerBear. Great that it's your special outing day with the LF.
No solid plans today, maybe walk on beach and might end up at friend's place later. I'm very tired after little sleep the night befofe last and not that much more today, so will be playing a fair bit of catch up if I can, I think... and a shower. That's one thing I'd like to do.
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
The LF love our Saturdays. It's feel good special stuff which feels like soul medicine for our little family crew I think.
A rest and down time day sounds pretty good @Mazarita🙂 I hope it feels good for you and you can catch up on some sleep.
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