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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest 🙂

Yesterday was fun but hectic. I went to the womens yarny crafty group I joined a couple of weeks ago.. I'm so enjoying getting to know the women there and spending time with them. I feel really welcome and part of it which is nice. It's a really cool place to hang out and work on my blanket project, and the women there are all huge crafters so I am learning heaps and picking up some great tips. Last night the LF and I went to our second weekly family adventure that we started last week. It was really nice to spend time out and about with different people and the fish loved it again. It does feel good to be out and about doing community stuff. The LF's school has asked me to be part of a couple more things there too, so I'll add that to my list of feel good things soon as well. I also made an appointment with my GP for early next week to discuss the referral to the surgeon as well, then put it in a worry about next week box. I think this is the best way to try and approach this one. There's definitely lots happening here at the moment.

@Former-Member - coffee for you ☕ with some cake because forum breakfast cake is almost always a good idea 🍰 Hope you slept well last night 😘

@Phoenix_Rising - how are you going this morning? I have pieces of psychiatrist all over my desk which makes me laugh everytime I catch a glimpse of it 😛

@Mazarita - yay for black uggs and soft and silky dressing gowns! It's fun snapping with you - Japanese food, toasties, black uggs... 😄 Sorry to hear you were feeling sad last night. Friend stuff can be so tricky sometimes 😞 I hope it sorts itself out properly soon. I caught your highlight of yesterday and felt so positive and happy reading it! I'm really excited for you and the adventure you're starting!

It's a quiter day planned today which will be nice. Busy is good but too busy is tiring.

Hope everyone has a good day 🌞

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning, @CheerBear and fellow nesters,

Great news that the crafty group is going so well for you, CB. And that you are finding the joy in being out and about doing community stuff. Really happy to hear you have your approach worked out with the physical health problems, in a way that will minimise distress. I wondered about the pieces of psychiatrist all over your desk! Maybe it's wiser not to ask you or @Phoenix_Rising about that, haha! Yes, friend stuff can be tricky, especially when the pair of you have mental health struggles and extremely sensitive natures. We've been through worse in the past and still come out loving each other mightily though, hoping for the same next time we meet. Thanks so much for your good vibes on the new psychologist. Also glad you are getting a bit of a recovery day today.

The handyman is here this morning painting the ceiling of two rooms of our flat, to cover water damage that happened when someone overflowed the bath in another flat some months ago. I hate having people in the flat for stuff like this and the damage is so minimal as to be almost invisible. But the owner's insurance claim means it has to be done. And the handyman is friendly and nice. So don't whinge Maz. After that, my day is free. Might end up getting together with another friend, or just taking a day to do some video admin stuff and relax.

Sending good wishes for the day to everyone in the nest.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Haha @Mazarita - I realised as soon as I hit post how bad the psych on my desk might sound! I'm crocheting a little psychiatrist to add to the collection of creatures. So far there is a turtle (a @Phoenix_Rising), a seahorse and a jellyfish 🙂

Good luck with the handyman this morning. I really don't like that stuff either, and it can feel so much like an invasion. Hope you enjoy the rest of your day Maz 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning @Former-Member @Mazarita @CheerBear and fellow nesters,

I love this idea of having cake for breakfast in the nest @Former-Member and @CheerBear.

@Mazarita you super made me giggle. Don't panic - @CheerBear and I have not been secretly chopping up psychiatrists. CheerBear is making me a psychiatrist because of my notable lack of success in finding either a psychiatrist or a psychologist that I connect with in the real world. I think we are working on the theory that if CheerBear makes me a psychiatrist, he/she may not actually help me, but at least he/she won't cause harm - which will be a step up from a lot of the mental health professionals I've engaged with over the years.

It sounds like you are really getting out there and connecting with people in fun ways @CheerBear. That is super cool. I can definitely hear how you fit into new situations and start having fun in a new environment much quicker than I do.

Having another weekly adventure with the LF sounds especially cool. It must be super nice to be doing things like that together. I think your LF have an awesome mum.

It is a super sunny day again here in Sydney. It feels like Spring has come a month early, which is awesome.

I am going to aim to stay off the forums today after this morning check in. I can feel how hooked I am on them at the moment and that isn't ideal. I hope everyone has a super nice day.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Phoenix_Rising

Introducing our newest member of the pocket crew -

She (I had to make a she as you'll see why in a moment) has big ears for listening really carefully and no mouth so there is no risk she can say anything ridiculous. I looked everywhere for a pattern for a crochet psychiatrist and struggled to find one anywhere. I adjusted a pattern for '11th Doctor' (I think that's a Dr Who thing?) which I found kind of fitting given the therapist take 11 situation. She's even sprinkled in cat glitter for good luck (my cat took her arm for a walk around the house this morning) 😉

This psychiatrist is super special because as well as being a great therapist, she's also a mermaid!

Which obviously means she's great at swimming in the ocean and well prepared to hang out with colourful and quirky ocean creatures like TT, Squishy and Mr Seahorse.

They're currently chilling out in my pink fluffy blanket, and getting along swimmingly!

Hope you have a good day today 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey CB
Do you mind if i come sit in the nest for abit
@CheerBear

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I don't mind at all @outlander. Grab a cushion and a cuppa if you'd like.

Hope you're ok 💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @CheerBear ❤ ❤
Im not really ok but ill live. Just a big tidal wave. But heres safe so im.just gonna grab a cushion and a cuppa and just breathe for abit

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sounds tough @outlander. Big waves can be very tiring 😞

I'm sitting in my car with a coffee listening to music under a tree that has the sun peeking between the branches. I'm here for no reason other than it's just nice being here. I'm going to go home soon and spend some time lying with my legs up on a wall - that feels pretty calming too.

Hope that breathing and sitting for a moment will help, and that your afternoon gets a bit easier for you soon.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

It is @CheerBear it was a massive realisation and its sent me flying. Plus now im worried about a few other things as to why im in such pain physical not emotional atm.

That sounds really nice. I use to sit near the beach and watch the waves for abit. But im in too much pain to drive.

Thanks for letting me sit here ❤❤
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