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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
Looking forward to having a sleep in tomorrow morning
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks @CheerBear, this is going to sound strange, and I'm not sure it makes any sense, but when I'm not "ill" I'm pretty flat/even-keeled. It's like I don't really have anything dramatic or triggering happening. It's just busy life really. So I don't really have anything to pour out if that makes sense????? My life is so boring and flat and ordinary that there's nothing to talk about. I have some big issues in my life that need to be sorted out though. Big issues. At least my therapist brought up the issue that I was totally avoiding talking about anything important. But I don't know WHAT to talk about. Arrgghh... Sorry for such a massive whinge,
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member definitely not a massive whinge and definitely no need to be sorry for any kind of whinge/vent/spill etc.
What you're saying makes heaps of sense. I don't 'pour' in the sense that I spill out all the details about big ugly things (most of the time). I pour usually in a way that vents all the annoyances, frustrations, stresses of the week. I haven't really poured big stuff out often (though I have spent lots of time big crying and sobbing with my counsellor) and think sometimes it's really scary to read how people can be pushed to delve into great detail about really triggering and difficult things in a way that becomes really intense for them. It can take a little while for therapist and client to work out their groove sometimes. I've found once it happens it's smoother going as you both kind of work out what it's all about. That probably makes no sense now!
It's good to hear that you were able to touch on something it sounds like you've been wanting to work through. Being really open and honest about your feelings with your therapist might help too. Walking in and saying 'I don't actually know what to say or talk about' can be a great start to working out what to talk about 🙂
Hope you sleep well @Former-Member.
Hope you enjoy your sleep in tomorrow @Shaz51 and that you've been busy in a good busy way today. Today was a good day here thanks. I got a few things done that have needed to be done for a while, had some fun with the kids, and am now enjoying chilling out a bit 🙂
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
got anything planned for the weekend @CheerBear or going with the flow
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Shaz51 we have something super exciting and fun planned tomorrow 🙂 My biggest fish has been invited to be part of an extra thing to do with our weekly family fun adventure. It's a huge deal for them, potentially opening up lots of exciting opportunities, and it's very much something that is a perfect fit for them. So that starts off tomorrow. It's not so fun for the others who are not loving the idea of being dragged around with me playing taxi driver, but we'll try to do something while big is off doing their thing.
Sunday will be getting ready for school! I think I'm more excited about this one than they are 😉
How about you?
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I am ok @CheerBear, found out yesterday I have a Hiatus Hernia
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Oh dear @Shaz51😞 That doesn't sound good. Is it treatable with medication?
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
yes @CheerBear, by medication and diet , knowing what will affect it like oranges and orange juices and oranges and spicy foods xx
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Phoenix_Rising - are you there? Can you sleep in my pocket tonight?
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