Son doesn't see he needs expert help

hello @MissB

I am pleased to hear that you have a psychologist with whom you can relate. I believe that you have had one session so to feel hope in that short period is a blessing.

The main thing in all of this when looking after yourselves is: to feel listened to, heard and to feel that you are being helped.

Are you on a plan through your gp with the psychologist?

As a carer you are entitled to 6 free visits within 5 months with possible opportunity to extend.

If not already on a plan the psychologist might be happy to put that in place via your gp.

Saving money also helps in these situations.

You sound like very caring, intelligent parents.

I wish you all the best moving forward during these trying times.

please continue to share and vent on here.

If you use the search tool and type in son or daughter you will see several other posts where parents are struggling to do the best for their loved ones.

Hello @Former-Member Thank you again we have a mental health plan for the dr so is a bit cheaper for us. We just wish it was our son going he so desperately needs to. We are in a dilemma now as we have acruise booked in June and feel that the situation is now that we don't like the idea of him being left alone for too long.He has had falling out with we think most of his friends 🙁Really don't know the real story but possibly they have got a bit tired of his negativity ?? Even his sister is tired by it all so don't like to burden her with having him stay with her ( probably wouldn't any way) I wish I could just drag to the Dr and get him the help he needs.

hello @MissB

I can relate to how you are feeling.

I suffer from symptoms of major depression and anxiety myself, have done for most of my life although there have been years where I was able to manage my health well. I worked on an off up until about three years ago.

Losing friends is a huge part of the whole cycle. goes hand in hand with suffering.

people of any age dont like change, dont understand, feel uncomfortable, possibly even guilty, fear same might happen to themselves, would you believe fear contagious?? the person with the illness is so busy trying to hide the fact, or does not have any energy or motivation left to explain they are totally drained. hence lack of enthusiasm, self respect, hygiene,sleep, inclusion, smiling and so on. Although I didnt behave this way when I was living at home, my upbringing too strict.

So I can relate to both sides, feeling wise, friendship wise, behaviour .. no.

The hardest part for me is I didnt disrespect my parents.

I have a trip booked for overseas, going on my own for 8 weeks to meet my huge family over there. I booked my ticket, my husband convinced me to go as my 91 year old aunt passed away last year. I was so sad to lose her without seeing her in all of those years however I was over the moon at the idea of my upcoming trip. my feet did not touch the floor, i felt like a little girl , such joy then boom... son's diagnosis.

I have just today spoken about this very fact and my psychiatrist has convinced me that I must still go, do this for me. He believes that it will be very healing for me, a boost to my self-esteem as my family are all offering to put me up all over and are excited for me to come. this is the first big thing i have ever done for me.

So I say to you also, take your trip, holiday and enjoy that time. yes your son will be here when you get back. you will be re-energised and stronger, better equiped to put safe boundaries in place.

Our sons are adults and as much as our paternal instincts keep nagging at us they are responsible for themselves now. If they cannot yet see that they need help we cannot help them either. we can just let them know that we still love them and wish for them to be safe and happy within their lives. We are here if they need to talk but not if they wish to abuse.