Son needs to leave home (31)

My 31 year oldson still lives with me. I really struggle to support us both. There are ok times, but every day he will bring me to tears at some point with his aggression and rudeness. I have to hold down a job but I feel like I am really losing my own mental health and breaking. I live in Sydney.I have just given my son a months notice to leave but I know he won't. Not sure of the diagnosis as it keeps changing and his psychologist won't talk to me. I can wake up and spend hours before work trying to think of ways to make him better or happier but , as today, just be abused verbally and emotionally. He is very against getting ny government hlp but doesn't have a job and I think would be unable to hold one down right now. (I know!) One diagnosis thrown around was Avoidant Personality Disorder. He cannot take any negative judgements so when I have ever tried to get some disability support for him (as advised by people from mental health, doctors etc) he finds it too confronting and lies about his life and health, saying how greta it is. Thats good, say the people listening. No help. Now he's feeling some motivation to get out of bed and wants to go to the gym. I don't have money for this yet and he's so frustrated with my 'lack of support'. UNfortunately I'm a casual worker and the work and costs of Matthews doctors and life mean we live on credit. All of that is one thing, but to have him abuse me and blame me is becoming over time more than I can deal with. I also have an anxiety disorder but I function if not being totally bullied and abused.

The problem is, where to turn? Matthew needs to break away from here and be independent from me. He's frustrated living with his Mum, no friends, no girlfriends. Normal really. But he can't stand on his own feet or live with other (judgemental) people.

All fine, but I am falling apart.