Looking for a retreat

Hi all, (I'm new to this forum)

just a brief background on me:

I suffered sexual abuse growing up until I was about 12. Didn't think much of it at the time, I was never physically injured, just made uncomfortable. It became very second nature to me to be very deceitful about my abuse as a means of protecting myself and my family.

Effects of became more evident during my teens and early adulthood when I realised that I had a very fragile sex drive and a very low level of trust in people. I used to tell lies without realising if deep in my mind it was with good intentions. This caused me a lot of trouble in relationships and friendships.

Furthermore I was raised as very academically competitive and career driven in later life. I have recently started a new job and am feeling very snowed under with work and falling behind every day. Meeting new people and just taking phone calls makes me very anxious, especially for someone who was once outgoing. At social events I am terrified that I will say something that someone doesn't like but also terrified of seeming strange for not speaking. I have always tried to be a people pleaser my whole life (often using time that I don’t have to help people do tasks) so this social anxiety thing makes everything I know that much more difficult. Very small things make me cry my eyes out.

I have fairly reckless behavioural patterns when it comes to drinking, smoking, gambling and shopping.

I was wondering if anyone could direct me to some resources. I am aware that I need to get help but I never feel like I have the time – working a 9am-5pm job doesn’t provide me with much of a window and on the weekends I just feel like I’ve run out of energy.

I know I have quite a few issues that I’d like to crunch through but the first thing that I really think I need is an opportunity to unplug from my life as I know it for a week because I feel like everything just needs to slow down. I'm far too embarrassed to take personal leave all of a sudden at my new job so I would prefereably like a medical certificate of some sort. In this time I’m happy to talk to a professional to work through a plan for moving forward. Does anyone know if this is something that is offered?

thank you 🙂