slipping backwards

Feeling like i'm sliding backwards. Life is a struggle. The medications side effects arent getting any better but the anxiety is getting worse. They've maxed me out on the one that is giving me the side effects and my GP who doesnt want to take me back to the lower dose on those is now talking about adding a second of that type of medication. to which i said no way. but not sure how much choice i will have. then there is family court this week but my family court lawyer hasnt been in touch, have sent her two emails in the last week. I dont know what will happen this time and that is just adding to the fear load. I'm also too aware of the family court repercussions from my inpatient stay in hospital to feel like i can be truly honest with my GP about how far i'm back sliding at the moment. He is coming up with so much stuff about my mental health being of such concern that his parents (who he is supposed to be living with because of bail conditions but isnt) would be better as carers for the children. They live in the capital city which is like 5 hours away. My two close friends tell me that that wouldn never happen but its so frightening. Still feels like he has so much power, especially through the family court side. and After nearly two years post everything coming to a head with him being arrested (pathetically against my wishes at the time) it feels like i'll never be free and this stuff will never end. sorry for the rant. I know many of you here have far worse things going on.

LisaJane