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This is really hard for me! I like doing the interactive thing but when I am a bit fragile I tend to withdraw, which is not a good thing as I live alone. Talking with others over a coffee, sort of de isolates you and you need not be talking about stuff at all....distracts you away from the grimness of ego centric I guess. We moved a lot when I was a kid and it was always interstate courtesy of dad's job. It was not the sort of thing he could decline, so all of us kids copped the new school stuff, I was on my own some, but my brothers did the schoolyard brawling that is part and parcel of boys. Mum was shy and isolated away from family, often had a new bub and dad would be away, so it is not surprising in many ways.
I feel safe on my own mostly, but other times I feel as if I am the loneliest person...
Hi Neb. I withdraw too, sometimes it can be a good thing. There times though that I need to get out so I go somewhere public on my own and people watch.
I know what you mean about the moving and everything it brings. My dad was RAAF so we moved a bit and I was just an outsider everywhere we went.
In response to: Friends
LAMContributor
Re: Friends
HI Neb,
I think I know what you mean about feeling safe on your own mostly. I feel like that, and then suddenly there are times when it seems lonely and I do want to be with people.
I guess we just keep living as best we can. I try not to worry too much when I don't want to be sociable, I know I will again, sometime Take care, LAM
In response to: Friends
Diatriber79Contributor
Re: Friends
Hi Neb
I hear you, I wasn't an 'army brat/army kid' or part of a family that had to move for work but I was 7 years older than my [twin] sisters & when my Father left my Mother seemed to want to target me, so I'd retreat into books, listening to music, other solitary things & also had no confidence. I think it's a strength for you that you do tend toward socialising but I know it must be hard to just find those opportunities, especially if you're not in the best space. Just wanted to let you know I understand & am around.
In response to: Re: Friends
NebSenior Contributor
Re: Friends
Thank you everyone for your feedback! Yeah I was an army kid although I carefully did not put that in, but it must have been obvious huh! I understand the defence forces do a lot better with moves, particularly for the spouse feeling isolated. I wonder if the rank snobbery is still a factor.
In response to: Re: Friends
JTSenior Contributor
Re: Friends
Just a few key phrases lol. I reckon the snobbery is still there. My mum took it to new extremes though and simply refused to mix with any of the other defence families! Dad was only a Sgt when he retired so it wasn't a rank issue for her, just her decision that all RAAF wives and kids were snobs and brats. I don't know about the rest of the country but schools here have defence liaison officers for the students and there's entire departments dedicated to the relocation.
In response to: Re: Friends
NebSenior Contributor
Re: Friends
Lol JT, it was the opposite for mum, who married dad just before he went to Malaya. She was a very shy bush girl and of course instantly became pregnant when she married. Dad would be at work and mum had a 3 people in the flat which must of been a nice way to start married life but of course those folk were not of mum's culture. She found the army officer wives snobby and with little to occupy them, very bitchy. She was friends with a sargeant's wife , of course she was told this would not do, but the lady was simpatico with a young wife and a pregnant woman who had no relatives to discuss woman's business with.
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Take care, LAM
