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Eden1919Senior Contributor
Hi i havent been on here in a while but i was recently diagnosed with bipolar 1 and i am on medication but it is not working neirther is the DBT nothing is. my eating issues are awful right now i am getting paranoid again and i am so depressed i can hardly move. i am about to fail university and there is so much going on. i am not coping with anything and all i can think about is hurting myself.
In response to: Nothing is working
KurraSenior Contributor
In response to: Nothing is working
Unknown userMember
Hi there @Eden1919
I am so sorry you are feeling this way, you sound really overwhelmed and lacking hope in your treatment at the moment, which can I remind you is a symptom of your mental health, it is definitely not your fault.
It also sounds like you are trying really hard to do all of these different things, that's the best you can do is keep trying, I am sure uni can understand where you are at and make allowances for what you miss, so try not to worry about that, just focus on looking after yourself and taking each day at a time so you feel less overwhelmed.
Try calling your case worker again or making a appointment with your GP or Psychologist/counsellor this morning so you can get some extra support today.
Lunar
In response to: Re: Nothing is working
Eden1919Senior Contributor
it is just hard because uni has already made allowences for me and i ruined my chance i literally spent all night crying and i havent been able to take my meds this morning because of the ocd and i am a complete mess and i am really agitated and i cant seem to calm down i am trying to listen to music but it isnt helping and i am really scared. i dont know what to do anymore. i will try my caseworker again but i dont even know if she is working today. and it is all my fault everything is
In response to: Re: Nothing is working
Change123Senior Contributor
@Eden1919
Keep trying your case worker.
Because you are in a state your thinking is faulty - this is not your fault you are doing the best you can under these circumstances.
How is your OCD stopping you taking your meds?
What the others are saying is true it can take a while for meds to take effect. When I had mine increased slowly over a month I dont think I felt the full effects for a good few weeks. You have to take it slow day by day, I know we all want to achieve everything but sometimes the reality is that you just need to focus on your mental health as a priority. Does going for a brisk walk help? Just something to tire you out and calm you down, what about a hot bath or treating yourself to something nice?
Sometimes when I was really bad and had to go to work I wind up my windows, turn the music up and scream in the car. That use to be a good release and helped my anxiousness.
If you cant see your case worker today just keep trying to distract yourself, watch a movie or read, go to the shops. I know you probably dont feel like doing anything but just crying and feeling crap but push yourself to do something to get your mind occupied. The brain likes to make up all sorts of stories if you let it, you have to fight those thoughts!
@Eden1919 Please know I do care and I do understand and you are not alone! 
In response to: Re: Nothing is working
Eden1919Senior Contributor
thank you for caring. the OCD wont let me take the medication because it keeps telling me i will choke on it and that something really bad will happen if i do take it. i am trying to distract myself but things are getting more intense i am supposed to be seeing my psychologist tomorrow but right now everything is just really intense and i am not coping i am seriously agitated like i cant focus and i feel like i am about to snap. and i am super paranoid someone is going to try and hurt me i dont feel safe anywhere i feel like someone could always be around the corner waiting to get me. and i am convinced there are demons stalking me, i want to cry.
In response to: Nothing is working
KurraSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Nothing is working
Eden1919Senior Contributor
kind of both i just feel it inside like my thoughts are racing a bit but this feeling only started last night i have had it before though when things were all mixed. it is hard to explain i just cant stay with one thing.
In response to: Re: Nothing is working
Eden1919Senior Contributor
great now there is someone watching my house i saw them i am really scared someone is trying to hurt me and now they are spying on me i dont know what to do i tried my caseworker but she said she was busy until later i am really freaking out there is literally someone after me i feel like i am about to cry i dont know what to do anymore.
In response to: Re: Nothing is working
Change123Senior Contributor
@Eden1919
Is there someone who can come over or even better can you go to someone?
It might be coincidence remember your not thinking straight right now but to make you feel safe can anyone come over at all to keep you company??
I think you need to be with someone right now whether there is someone watching or not.
If you have no where to go or noone to come over can you ring someone?
Please even if you have to ring lifeline or sane, please talk to someone.
Thinking of you.
In response to: Re: Nothing is working
Eden1919Senior Contributor
No there is no one who can do that i just got a call from my caseworker who is coming tomorrow but i am really scared i tried to tell my caseworker about the thoughts but i just couldnt find the words to start the conversation. i dont know who to trust either. ugh i have ruined everything this is all my fault. i want to cry and scream because it hurts so much inside. i am so so so scared right now.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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