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Something’s not right

Nothing is working

Nothing is working

Hi i havent been on here in a while but i was recently diagnosed with bipolar 1 and i am on medication but it is not working neirther is the DBT nothing is. my eating issues are awful right now i am getting paranoid again and i am so depressed i can hardly move. i am about to fail university and there is so much going on. i am not coping with anything and all i can think about is hurting myself.

26 replies

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In response to: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

@Eden1919

Hang in there!

I dont have bipolar but BPD and I have done the DBT course as well. Nothing sunk in a for a while and my head was in a mess for along time not being able to cope.

I think we all have to find things that work for us, for me one thing that I find is helping is tackling one thing at a time with my BPD. First I tackled for a day or week just trying to control rage, then I went onto another behaviour just one at a time then putting a couple together etc etc. That doesnt mean I dont go into a meltdown every now and then but I cope better now when I do.

I totally understand how hopeless you are feeling right now and we have all been there and sometimes I still go back there but just deal with it better.

Try just dealing with one thing at a time, say sleep and eating well (because if you sleep and eat well you will concentrate better at uni) then once you are confident with that move on DBT excercises etc. Just one thing at a time, I found when I tried to overcome BPD in general it was too overwelming for me.

Remember if you are here you are coping and you are moving forward so be proud that you were able to reach out and ask for help.

Take care

In response to: Re: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

Thanks i have BPD as well as bipolar hence the DBT. i am trying to just keep it simple but i am not even managing the simple things i am not managing anything i feel like i am about to cry and like i am sinking into a black hole it hurts so so deeply inside me that it makes me want to scream that and i cant stand the paranoia i keep thinking someone is watching me and is waiting to try and hurt me and my family. some of me thinks this thought is silly other parts of me think it is completely real. i am scared all the time. i dont know what to do anymore.

In response to: Re: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

I know that feeling all too well

Do you think maybe its time you go back to the doctor nad have your meds evaluated?

When I was feeling very very low last year and was constantly thinking of suicidal thoughts etc I decided to take my health into my owns hands as my GP wasnt keeping an eye on me and everytime I mentioned anything to do with BPD you could see their thoughts going "oh dont start on this" and I truly felt I was not getting anywhere at all. I then saw another GP in my practice and was forthright and said how I haven't been managed by this practice at all and that I wanted to know if my meds could be evaulated. So she got me into a mental health clinic for the purpose of an evaluation (mainly for meds). When I did this I found out just how low a dose I was on and it was nearly trippled slowly. I spoke to the pysch and told him how I dont really have anyone looking after me and how often should my meds get evaluated - he said annually at least. So this is something I will do off my own back from now. Having the correct dosage helped my anxiety enough to get a hold on everything else so I was able to start making changes.

Reading your post really is a reflection of how I felt at this time and I hate hearing you go through the same thing, I know the hurt and the emptiness and the feeling like no one out there gives a shit, I used to feel scared all the time, I would wake up with an anxiety attack and go to sleep feeling very stressed. I guess one bit of wisdom my partner instilled in me is "if its not working try something else - dont keep doing the same things"!

I really hate to say this but the only person who can change things is yourself, I know how much we would all love for someone to rescue us and say it will be ok but in my experience this doesnt happen and you need to find the strength from inside some how.

Do you have something that makes you happy , a pet or friend you can confide in?

For me it is my dog, I love him to bits an dhe loves me and is always there when I'm down. Tobe honest for me it would be a lot harder without him.

In response to: Re: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

i know it is up to me but i have been doing everything right i have been going to therapy taking my meds. trying diet and lifestyle changes but none of it is working i just feel like there isnt much left to try like no one can help and man if i could have fixed this by now i would have so maybe there isnt an answer and maybe i should just quit.

In response to: Re: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

Hi @Eden1919

It sounds like things are really scary right now, and that you're feeling so low and helpless to the point where it seems nothing can help you. Hurting yourself might seem like the only option to end the pain, but please know there are other options. Can you get in contact with your hospital? Do you have psychiatrist? It sounds like your mental health may deterioating, and you may be getting unwell. What you're experiencing may be a sign to get medical attention. Remember, as painful as this is, it can be treated with the appropiate support. I've included details at the bottom of this post.

I'm really concerned about you. I will send you an email shortly. Please get back to me when you can

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Chat

Suicide Call Back: 1300 659 467 or Online Counselling

000 if at immediate risk

In response to: Re: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

i have tried my caseworker twice today but no reply i dont know what to do i am so tired.

In response to: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

@Eden1919
You mentioned that you've only recently been diagnosed with bipolar 1. I too have bipolar 1. It can take some time to find the best medication for you. We all respond to medications differently even if we have the same diagnosis.

You also mentioned that you're becoming paranoid and that your depression is becoming severe enough that it is causing psychomotor retardation because you're now finding it very difficult to move.

For me paranoia and psychomotor retardation are both signs that I need to seek medical help quickly. Please contact your psychiatrist first thing tomorrow morning and your GP. If you are unable to speak with them it's important to go to Emergency at your nearest hospital. These signs are easier to treat if you get help as soon as possible.

Take care and keep safe. Hugzzz 💕 🎶

In response to: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

I will try my caseworker again but I am nervous I was doing ok but then all of a sudden this I am on a PTO and I don't want them to keep me on it because of this. I really don't know what to do for some reason now I keep thinking there are 2 demons stalking me I can't get this thought out of my head and it is scaring me a lot part of me knows it should not be real but then another part says it is completely real. I don't know what to do.

In response to: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

Good morning @Eden1919

I can understand your concern about being on a PTO but seeking help now is one of the reasons why medical staff will be able to observe that you're looking after yourself because you're contacting them. Do tell your caseworker exactly what you're experiencing.

By getting assistance now you'll find it helps particularly with how scared you're feeling.
I'll be thinking of you today 💕

In response to: Nothing is working

Re: Nothing is working

I will try and get in contact with my caseworker again but it is hard. I just I really don't feel good and if they find out they could keep me on the PTO or worse make me go back to the hospital I can't risk that I have too much to loose. This is all my fault I have ruined everything.
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