Anxiety issues

Well I do have a different view about the medication. Mine work very well and the side effects are so much less than how terrible it is when I am not on my antipsychotics.

I am not sure why you came off medication but your post does not seem to imply they had bad side effects but rather that you were doing really well at the time you stopped taking them.

I have gone off my medication several times because I also felt I was doing well because they were working fine at the time.

Each time I came to earth with a big crash.

My medication is prescribed to suppress my symptoms so it seems logical for those symptoms to resurface when I am not compliant.

Some supplements can react very badly with MI medication. I think it is essential that you should go back to your prescribing DR and discuss alternatives with him/her.

I understand antidepressants are horrible to withdraw from and that's one of the reasons I wont take them.

However saying that, coming off antipsychotics and anticonvulsants used to treat Schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, Bipolar etc etc can be very difficult and I remember once being hospitalised to change from one antipsychotic to another.

Taking medication or not taking medication should be an informed decision taken in conjunction with your treating Dr. Its not possible in my view to manage our own conditions without supportive medical advice and information.

Kenny

Thank you to everyone for your support.

I will check out some of the meditation ideas. CD sounds like a good option, the download app from Headspace too. If there are some classes in my area I will find one. I am really enjoying listening to the anxiety hypnosis session that I downloaded from Hypnoshop. I look forward to listening to it every night before I go to bed. I like to think it's helping a little bit.

I have made contact with my counsellor again and should hopefully speak with her later today. I will get a session booked in and see what she has to say about what's going on with me.

The medication I was on for the PTSD was only supposed to be a short term thing - like a year. The only reason I went off them was because the trauma I was dealing with has been mostly curbed, thanks to my sibling being on the proper medication for the BPD, amongst other things. My environment is not as threatening as it once was and the behaviour that comes up now I am able to deal as best as I can with setting boundaries and walking away from situations that I can't deal with. We still have some difficult days but I am getting through them.

What is surprising me is that since I have been off the medication, the anxiety I am feeling is much worse than before I went on the medication which to me doesn't make much sense at all. I really want some answers as to why I'm worse now than what I was before starting the meds - and that was when my world was really falling apart. Go figure.

If my counsellor and doctor advise me to go back on medication I will. I just have to accept that I'm not going to get better doing what I'm doing and in the end I suppose that will be okay. There is quite possibly some lasting effect from the trauma that I'm just not realising. Or maybe it was the medication itself. When my doc told me the meds would be temporary I believed them. Am I kidding myself?

Hi @Kiera80

One of our wonderful members @coffeegirl posted this awhile ago.

For me, it just reminds me not to be hard on myself if things aren't going exactly to plan. Once you let go of the anxiety or negative feeling towards treatment/recovery (ie: those thoughts of "I should be better" "Is it always going to be like this?" etc) the more ready you are emotionally to get on with it.

It's sad to me that in general I see people being so tough on themselves about medication. You don't see someone with cancer being told they should be able to handle the cancer without medication! Similarly to cancer or other chronic illnesses, medication is going to play a role at some point and perhaps it's ongoing or during periods of illness.

And with all chronic illnesses, medication isn't the only part of the treatment. Once someone with cancer has got rid of the cancer, for 3-7 years, they have an increased chance of it returning, so they have lifestyle and health choices they take, as part of prevention.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. Don't think too far into the future, just focus on the now and getting yourself well for now. The long term questions about treatment can then follow.

Hope you're doing okay.

Nik

Thank you @NikNik , your post has made me feel better. Yes, I am incredibly hard on myself. I have always been the one to hold everything together and now I feel like I'm drowning. I'm no good to anyone at the moment, including myself.

A lot of what I'm going through really scares me. I'm not the normal me, it's all out of whack and I don't know why.

Coffeegirls reality looks exactly like my life at the moment, lol. A big old mess.

I think for me the loss of control is the most unnerving. It's the loss of focus, the memory lapses, second guessing, not believing what I'm doing is right and worrying that's driving me around the bend. I know what I want to do but my brain is just not co-operating. The slightest amount of extra stress is causing me an overload in anxiety and irritability.

I am trying to just get through each day as it comes.

I have an appointment next week to go see my counsellor again. I'm looking forward to just putting it all out there and getting some feedback. If the consensus is to start medication again I'll be off to see the doc very soon after.

You are right. I shouldn't be afraid of being on medication if I really do need it. Everything I have been doing so far has been helping a little bit but it's not fixing things.