Nothing

hi @Former-Member glad you went for your walk and that you were able to make up with your daughter as well

thats ok Bella no rush. ill be able to work it out one day. everything is just hitting hard with a mix of alot of things i hardley slept last night and im wide awake still again despite sleeping tablets at the moment its jsut a struggle to breathe but thats about all i am doing for the moment

you having cake with that tea Bella lol

its sucks when people arent who you think they are @Former-Member i feel like ive been hit by a ruck so know exactly how you feel. hopefully youll get some rest and feel abit better tomorrow as well.

ill prob be around for a bit longer too

@Former-Member the thing is.. yes theoretically we can say how much we wish we could flick that switch.. and much as we tell ourselves how and why it should just flick back, unfortunately it doesn't. That's why until we are stronger we must try to protect ourselves from everything that might send us there. Because that "other side" is so precious yet so fragile.

That's to me where the true meaning of self care comes in. To recognise when we hit a good patch and work to strengthen it. The probelm is when we do hit a good spot we think we are better than we are and do all "silly" things and push ourselves back into iit thinking we are stronger than we are.

I learnt that bit of soap box preaching from doing it toooo many times myself and winding back where I didn't want to be and gettting stuck there again and cursing myself for thinking I was stronger than I was and thinking I was magically invincible. I have no idea how many times I did that to myself before I realised I just had to stop doing it and recognise pretty much anything could tip me back in there so treading water was pretty much the best things in those good times. and just enjoying being that little bit stronger.

I ironically, it was from there I really started to actually get stronger, because that's when I really started the self care and alertness of what not to do and where not to think.

Dunno if that makes any sense at all. I know what I'm trying to say but to actually say it without it sounding like a complete nuff nuff may be beyond me! 😛

Not that that in anyway is a help to you right now. Just telling you what I learnt from doing that kind of stuff to myself toooooo many times.

As for the friend.. yeah been there done that sadly. People do change and more often for the worse especially when they have everything go their way. Not sayiing your friend did, but I find that it seems to be a common thread for people I know who have done it. It's disappointing but that's on them not you, though it's hard to accept when it first hits you in the face like that, that's for sure.

hi everyone,

sorry @Spookytookims, ive been busy as my mr 4 yr old has been sick have been at the hospital for the last 4 hours