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Unknown userMember
alright im not that fussed about not having friends but this is really starting to get to me
i thought i had three good friends but they have become so distant and now they dont talk to me at all nor do they respond to my messeges. where the heck have i gone wrong?
i dont know what to do and i dont know how to go about ir ot approach these people
i
In response to: no friends- where have i gone wrong
Unknown userMember
Hi there @Former-Member
That sounds difficult feeling like your friends have distanced themselves, has something happened between you to change your dynamic or are you finding that your paths don't cross as often so it's hard to find the time to see them?
There have been times in my life where I have thought friends have distanced themselves and then found out it wasn't intentional they were busy, and so was I ! It's tricky being a carer and also having time to see friends and maintain relationships, could you invest some more time into one friend instead of a few?
Or do you think you could clear the air and catch over a coffee to chat about how things have changed and how that is making you feel?
Lunar 🙂
In response to: Re: no friends- where have i gone wrong
Unknown userMember
hi @Former-Member
i wrote to them and asked them and they really started slamming me!! all three of them. i apologized to them but i dont think our friendship will ever be the same
In response to: Re: no friends- where have i gone wrong
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Hi @Former-Member, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling in the domain of friendship. I'm afraid I don't have any words of wisdom on this one as I am amazingly bad at the friend thing. My last friend vanished in November 2016. I'm not going to do the friend thing again - I accept that friends are just not something that are going to be a part of my world. I'm moving forward with aquaintances only. That feels safer for me.
I recognise that the reason I can't do the friend thing is because people get overwhelmed by the intensity of my super big feelings. Also, I have significant communication issues because of that strange habit that neurotypical people tend to have of saying X when they really mean Y.
I have been saying for years that people like me until they get to know me, and then once they get to know me, they don't like me anymore. I think I mentioned somewhere on another thread that I connected in real-life with a few people from my uni forum and each of those relationships rapidly fell apart with the person saying I was very different in real life to how I present on the forum. I recognise that it is the intensity of...well...me that people can't cope with. Most people struggle to cope with someone expressing big feelings. In my situation, I can see that people start off thinking they can handle it, and then as they see that it goes on and on, they grow weary and walk away. This then triggers a whole new muddle of abandonment stuff for me.
So...that's my experience of friendship. I have no idea whether any of that is relevant to your situation. I guess the only way to figure out what is going on with your friends is to ask them.
In response to: Re: no friends- where have i gone wrong
Unknown userMember
just you reading my post commenting and sharing your experience @Phoenix_Rising shows im not alone 
In response to: no friends- where have i gone wrong
PUPContributor
In response to: no friends- where have i gone wrong
cobberCasual Contributor
In response to: Re: no friends- where have i gone wrong
Unknown userMember
are you a young member too as in around 20 @PUP
and Hello
In response to: no friends- where have i gone wrong
Unknown userMember
In response to: Re: no friends- where have i gone wrong
Unknown userMember
hi @cobber
i thought these friends would understand as they are abit older then me and also have been through anxiety themselves
In response to: Re: no friends- where have i gone wrong
Unknown userMember
thanks @Former-Member
my study is online and i have social phobia. so it was hard for me to make these friends in the first place
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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