Thanks so much @Decadian. I need compassion and understanding more than anything else, I think.
While I have hinted at all of this on the LE threads, I haven't wanted to spell it out in its full detail in the main social streams, because it is overwhelmingly large, and there are so many who are struggling emotionally as it is .... it can be a delicate balance .... but I think this is a quieter corner ....
My first post was on the Carer page, under the Something is Wrong discussion title, headed Need a Shoulder ....
What I have worked out is this .... WH came from BED, and it seems OCD, because he was working 14 - 16 hours a day, seven days a week, for 25 years. When we sold our business, he embarked on a campaign to lose weight from a morbidly obese state where he was dependent on medication for blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. Unfortunately, his family ideal of a healthy weight is very thin. This is one of the background factors that can lead to ed's ..... amongst others.
The path he took to weight loss was through the family doctor, so the doctor was advising him, and monitoring his health .... all good .... except he was either disguising from the doctor how little he was actually eating, and how much he was actually exercising .... or the signs of a developing eating disorder (morphing eating disorder in this case) are not well enough known at a GP level for all the warning signs to be picked up ... and they can be very subtle ... and the patient will lie and manipulate their situation to disguise what is going on ... and our go is a very good one !!
it seems WH went from BED and OCD to a combination that falls somewhere within the EDNOS or OSFED spectrum, but it is so complex that some support services people haven't heard of this sort of complexity and severity of some of his behaviours. He appears to have aspects of all of it. It is a variation of AN (Anorexia Nervosa) and BN (Bulimia Nervosa) ..... I have found something called BPAN (B**g*-P*rg* Anorexia Nervosa), but we wills be to wait for a specialist diagnosis to know what the professional take us on it all.
We have all of these present - Orthorexia, CHSP (litres a day), Anorexia Athletica, Laxative-food abuse, Body dysmorphia, and a range of health symptoms emerging from these behaviours.
You can start to see why I have said we are waiting for his awareness to surface, or his health to undergo a major crisis.
Writing here will help me keep more of a lid on it in the social threads I think. I go a bit wobbly sometimes ..... wasn't expecting the aftershock from the wedding to be so powerful and immediate, but I have worked out why ... I couldn't remain emotionally removed from my family in that day, which meant my empathy was reading all of it, all day, with no distractions to cushion it.
Up and on again now ....
Thanks for listening.
🌷💜