Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

The fear of making making things worse for someone

the fear that someone won't make it.

the fear of saying something that will upset the other person. Or something you say sounding really stupid. Boundaries - that is a hard one to adjust to, especially I find for myself as I have BPD.

Hi @NikNik

What are some of the risks that you find associated with supporting others, particularly in a peer to peer capacity

not able to write down or speak what I am thinking in my head --on what to say or how to say it.

I support and am supported by people with mental illness both in my real life and here on the forum. My current social life (online and offline) has more people with mental illness in it than otherwise. I sometimes worry that it may not be always helpful to people with mental illness to be surrounded so much by others with mental illness, simply because we are often dealing with 'heavy' life matters.

That my safety is inextricably linked to someone elses

That I haven't got anymore to give but really want to still help

not having limits or boundaries around it all

I also experience a terrible fear that I will say the wrong thing or they will interpret what I say the wrong way and it will make them feel worse; sometimes it can be difficult to even say anything due to this fear, even though I know I need to say something. This in turn causes great anxiety for me, making my own anxiety and depression issues worse.

So some of the risks we're hearing includes:

- being triggered

- Emotional exhaustion

- limited time to reflect and recouporate

- getting grumpy/irritable due to lack of sleep/lessened quality of sleep

- not being as effective a listener/advice giver

@Odette - I particulary think it's important to flag what yousaid about not being as effective listening / advice giver because you have highlighted the risk isn't just for us, but also for the person we're trying to support!

A couple I will add include:

• Burn out
• Compassion fatigue
• Secondary traumatic stress (or as @BlueBay said -feeling triggered) - re-experiencing the shared traumatic events, avoidance/numbing of reminders, and/or persistent arousal (e.g., anxiety) associated with the person.