Can't Stop

Hi @Former-Member

Sorry to hear you are feeling bad.

It does sometimes seem annoying that all the "normals" have to keep shoving their successes in your face. It is how they measure themselves, but is it how you have to measure yourself?

It appears that you have talked to your partner before about no babies? It also seems that if I read-in correctly, he wasn't that concerned? If so then why be concerned yourself as that only makes a non-issue into an issue.

I had an ex who was older than me and she did that over babies and her age. Both were non-issues and even the complete opposite. I liked that she was not going to spring babies on me and that I actually liked that she was older. Sadly she never really settled with that (ao at least using that as a way to create issue) and it wore us out.

Please try not to wear yourself out.

🙂

Ok I get you.

But still, if he hasn't bailed yet, don't push him. So long as you have discussed it openly and honestly at least once (which it seems you have) it is now up to him to raise the issue if it is becoming a concern for him.

Don't shoot holes in the bottom of your own boat 😉

🙂

Dear Loulathecat,

I am 63 years old and have bi-polar disorder. I also have 4 children. While they were young my bi-polar disorder was stable. There is something about giving birth that transcends everything, and your maternal instincts kick in. I was able to raise all 4 children with a minimum of help from outside, and they have turned into happy, well-adjusted young adults who know that Mum has bi-polar but understand and even support me when I need it.

Don't write off children too soon. Of course it is something you have to discuss with your health care professioal (especially if you are taking medications) but my experience has been a good one, and I wouldn't be without my children for anything.

Ellu

Well yes it does seem possible that Bipolar is genetic and you may "gift" it to your children.

However logic says there are a few more things to consider:

1) Your journey and your kid's journies will overlap as you will share some life-time, as well as sticky biological matter, but it doesn't mean that their experiences will be exactly the same as yours.

2) People who have poor parenting styles still have kids, and while they can and do pass on those poor coping skills to their kids, it is up to each of those children to learn to rise. So...

4) We all have problems to face in life (that is part of life - shakes fist at sky in rage) but we can teach those around us, esp our kids, how to rise by rising above our challenges ourselves. You are aware of yours so you can use that to start to rise. That is of greater value than any other thing in life.

🙂

I have no idea what you want me to say to that. I could offer more Aspie logic but am assuming that is not what you want. So...

What reply would you like to receive? What would you like to have someone say or do to make you feel better and on the road to a better place?

🙂