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Something’s not right

flat as paper

flat as paper

I am feeling like utter nothing and flat as paper, depression is seeping in. My son asked to live with us for 4 months, with his family, it simply wont work for many reasons and even thinking about telling him, causes me great panic and feeling a rift could arise. Im not strong enough and my daughter has already been displaced as my sister came to stay for 12 nights, she has brain and lung cancer and my daughter gave up her bedroom for her aunt and with my daughters aspergers I could see how displaced she was, so having 4 family move in with us is so not fair for her and myself, I would imagine myself retreating to a quiet small space in my home in burnout. My sister with cancer is staying with other sister and I am recovering, I am a sponge and absorb too many emotions and I know sister with cancer is exptremely lonely and doenst want to go back to her home, so this is making me very emotional, she has to go back to have her scans and tests to see what her cancer is doing. This feeling is really so deep I can feel it in my throat and it hurts phsyically. How to ride this wave of sadness but wait it out. I feel really ungrateful cause I dont have cancer but mental health issues and its awful and debilitating, and we drove past our mother's house the other day and I had not drove down her street in 6 years and they in the car said dont be so silly, and I got really mad and said I will do this my way and put my head down and refused to look at mothers house. She discarded 3 daughters in favour of one, and I'm one of the 3 discarded. So it was really hard to look around on this street let alone her home.

So sorry, all my pain is just dribbling out in words.

9 replies

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In response to: flat as paper

Re: flat as paper

Hi @Dark_Olena

my goodness, you have a lot on at the moment! its no wonder that you are feeling overwhelmed by it all. I think you have very good reasons, very valid reasons why it wouldnt be a good idea for you or your daughter to have another family move in wiht you. I think it's ok to say no, but i can only imagine how hard that will be.

Sounds like it was awful driving down that road. I can understand that, i don't think i would be able to go past some places that i lived with my family as a child, and the thought of seeing either of my parents fills me with dread and panic. There are some wounds that are just too raw to be rubbed in any way like that.

How are you doing tonight?

lj

In response to: Re: flat as paper

Re: flat as paper

@Former-Member Thankyou for your support. Doing a bit better today, had a big ole bawl yesterday after writing that post, just thinking how much my sister doesnt want to go back to Perth for scans, tests etc.

Today I am taking my daughter and myself to my sister who has our older sister with her and we are going to take a ferry to docklands for some shopping. I had talked to my psychologist about my ingrained loop i have burned in my brain about severe aniticipated fears about driving a road trip and feeling tired, cause my brain spins all night about 'being tired, and going on a road trip, which equates to being an unsafe driver, and of course the catch is I dont sleep, thinking if I dont, I will be unsafe and even my body temperature soars with this irrational loop. The psychologist said it was fine to take that one dose med, so I did, she said my brain loop thinking is quiete deep and needs to be worked on. I'm too emotional a person, and which stuff didnt phase me like it does. Today is a better day, so I will enjoy whiles its here. Not dealing with my son's request just now. We did say I was going to talk about his wanting to live with us with his family until my sister has gone back to Perth.

In response to: Re: flat as paper

Re: flat as paper

Hello @Dark_Olena

I am sorry to hear what you are currently going through, it all sounds incredibly tough.

I couldn't help but notice how much care that you have for everyone in your life and the amount of pressure that has put on you to look after everyone regardless of how that is affecting you. You seem to rationalise these behaviours by comparing your mental health to cancer so you can justify how you are not worth the extra care that you really need right now.

It also sounds really tough going over and over those worries and fears that you have, I hope you were able to enjoy your day shopping.

In response to: Re: flat as paper

Re: flat as paper

Hi @Dark_Olena

How are you doing now?

I lost track of this reply somehow! Sorry 😞 Hoping that the shoping trip did go ok and that you're feeling ok with all the stress you're under. Have you had a chance to talk with son yet? Hope that you're going ok,

LJ

In response to: Re: flat as paper

Re: flat as paper

@Dark_Olena. I'm sorry to hear that you are under so much stress at the moment. Yes your sister has cancer and that is an awful thing to go through or to witness as a loved one. But you also have a MI. This is no difference to what your sister has. In the sense that it can take all your energy to simply keep moving and plodding along. The exhaustion you experience would be similar in ways to what your sister experiences. It is just as debilitating. So please don't think that your 'illness' is any less worthy of consideration, as your sisters cancer.

You and your daughter are not in a position to house another 4 people in your home. It is not practical or good for your health. Yes, these people may be disapointed, but it cannot be helped. You must make you and your health your first priority and then your daughters second. That is more than enough for you to manage.

I hope your family members take this news calmly.

In response to: Re: flat as paper

Re: flat as paper

@Former-Member @Former-Member @utopia I 've just come to this post now, as my sister is flying back right now to Perth. I am extremely sad and most likely depression as I dont know the future for my sister. My head and eyes are throbbing, so I cant right now reply in kind as you have for me, sorry, will come back when I feel bit lighter.

In response to: flat as paper

Re: flat as paper

Be gentle with yourself @Dark_Olena. It is a very emotionally hard thing you are going through. Don't worry about us here. This is more about you being supported in your depression and grief.
Feel free to post here how you are feeling. There is no judgement. Only empathy.
Don't forget the support of your gp and psych team. Keep them in the loop, so they can support you as well.
Sending you a big supportive hug. ♥♥♥♥.

In response to: Re: flat as paper

Re: flat as paper

oh dear @Dark_Olena I'm sorry that things are so hard at the moment. I can imagine how hard it would have been to say goodbye today but i'm glad that you spent time with her.

Please look after yourself, there is no pressure to post, we're here when you/if you want to share,

hugs

lj

In response to: Re: flat as paper

Re: flat as paper

Hello @Dark_Olena

I am sorry to hear what you are currently going through, it all sounds incredibly tough.

Please look after yourself our friend

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