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Advice needed on helping adult son

GardenGirl52New Contributor29 Oct 2026, 7:14 pm AEDT

Advice needed on helping adult son

Hi there, Im looking to get some guidance and/or help in navigating this difficult time. My son 24 has recently been diagnosed with anxiety and depression after a very toxic relationship which saw

him hospitalised 5 times under the mental health act with 3 times [edited by moderator]. He is now on medication. He has a good decent paying full time job that he just doesn’t care about and refuses to have a conversation with his boss about not turning up for shifts. He has suffered with anxiety for a long time back into his teens but this relationship escalated his feelings. It took him so long to find this job, that I am afraid he will lose it and just wallow in his feelings for a long time. I have tried giving him space, suggesting outings and other things but I get shut down and it just ends in an argument.

He is seeking help and they provide him with techniques to help him get through the really tough times but he has no interest in applying them and has a tendency to be lazy. I understand he is in a difficult time and things take time to get over and move on with. I am trying to help the best I can and thought the distraction of work a good thing. Financially I cannot support another adult full time, and pay off his debts as it’s just my income. I feel exhausted and at my wits end.

Any advice welcome, Thank you.

2 replies

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In response to: Advice needed on helping adult son

HoneymoonModerator29 Oct 2026, 7:55 pm AEDT

Re: Advice needed on helping adult son

Hi @GardenGirl52 ,

Firstly, welcome to the forums! It sounds like you've been carrying a lot of worry about your son, alongside financial pressure and exhaustion. I'm so glad that you've reached out for support here!

It can be difficult to see someone struggling when your suggestions don't seem to help. It's okay to be realistic about what you can offer emotionally and financially. Your wellbeing matters too <3

Do you have anyone supporting you through this? You may consider exploring Carer Gateway for emotional and practical support for yourself in your caring role. Other members may also have experiences of supporting an adult child that they'd like to share.

Kindly,

~ @Honeymoon

In response to: Advice needed on helping adult son

RadderSenior Contributor29 Oct 2026, 9:53 pm AEDT

Re: Advice needed on helping adult son

Hi @GardenGirl52 that's a very tough situation and you are not alone - it's beyond frustrating for parents because adult children must want to get help themselves.

How long has he been on meds? They can take a few weeks to work, but they only reduce the symptoms not heal the root cause (that's where the talk therapy comes in). Meds side effects can also contribute to the problem so he should work with his doctor to ensure they are optimal. If he's taken them for years, they can also lose effect in some people but if changes are made they must be done very slowly to avoid withdrawal effects (more info is available if this is applicable).

Does he have a counsellor or psychologist to work on his anxiety with talk therapy?

In the interim, he may consider calling the Anxiety Recovery Center Helpline https://arcvic.org.au

There is also a support group for anxiety https://supportgroup.mhfa.org.au/anxiety-support-group and depression https://supportgroup.mhfa.org.au/depression-support-group

SANE also has its Recovery Club https://www.sane.org/recovery-club

Exercise is also key - even walking is better than nothing.

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